Generally, I’m not that enthusiastic about celebrating my own birthday. It’s not that I hate it, exactly, but I just don’t see the need to make a big fuss about it every year. Every year my friends and colleagues do not forget to make this day special... However this Birthday was not at all memorable that is the reason I wanted to pen it down so I can refer it whenever I feel down in Life. Just highlights only 5 people wished me on this day (cant blame my friends as I have deleted by FB) even if I have very less social circle, Family issues, Doctors visits multiple times & End of the day some drama with someone turned this day as a nightmare to remember...! Another reason to write this post because I have felt that I must have a plan for my Birthdays which I have decided to celebrated alone...!!
Most of all, though, the reason I no longer look forward to my birthdays as much as I once did is that I’m missing a key person to celebrate with me. My Grand Mother passed away in 2020 same date. My birthday just have not been the same since and it turned out to be a nightmare after that it not about the said incident but it reminds me all the negative memories.
Spending your birthday alone might leave you feeling lonely. Birthdays are generally fun when you are a child. As you grow older, birthdays become a trouble for some in that they are a reminder that you are getting older.
On the other hand, if you've never enjoyed birthdays, this day of the year may bring back bad memories. Even if you find yourself alone on your birthday this year, try to make it a special day. If you start planning now, you will find it is not that hard. There are lots of possibilities. This I learnt this year when I felt that we are so much dependent on people and have sky high expectations which are not mutual. So thought to give myself a break as next year might be even tougher when I might not receive 12 AM messages for my birthday. I must be ready with worst case scenarios.
My birthday was Yesterday, and while I normally love planning a solo celebration for myself alongside something more social or with family, all of my go-to options were off the table. I couldn’t take myself to dinner and a movie. I couldn’t do any fancy stuff this time as alcohol was off limits and late night calls when you are high ( I missed this the most). I have never felt the enthusiasm of birthday this year and I always say that next year should be better than this year as “This could be my Low but I could not make this day to my Lowest”. I thought a lot and did loads of overthinking and after watching Netflix series I decided to write this post so I could not forget this day and it would be reminder to me that next year would be awesome (Hope is the key). Here are just a few things I thought of to do when you are alone and feeling lonely on your Birthday or for any Day:
Consider getting away for your birthday: This was the TOP on the list I could do next year or I would plan doing whenever I feel like not doing regular stuff or being bored of being nice. Traveling solo means you wont have to worry about coordinating your schedule with anyone else nor you have to do compromises. So If I want to lay down on beach then I will go instead of going towards hills as it would be my chance to do exactly what I want. No Judgement and Phone would be OFF!
If at all possible, try to make travel plans a few weeks in advance in order to get the best deals. This will include making decisions about transportation, making hotel reservations, and packing for your trip.
Do some pointless online shopping: I know you might be searching for this phrase “treat yourself to something nice” seems too obvious to include but hear me out. Most of the time I always ordering necessities even when I’m not, I’m buying something I’ve been planning on treating myself to for a while or making a weird impulse buy I saw recommended on social media.
So on this birthday I gave myself a budget and decided to just… browse without having any goal in mind. It might feel like the same as wandering the mall looking for something unexpected and special, but it scratched the same itch.
Have a good old fashioned movie marathon: I just love watching movies so I can tell you by my experience nothing is more soothing than binge watching your favorite movies or series. Whether you want to re-watch an old favorite or catch up on that one show you’ve been meaning to watch, spending the day falling in without the pressure of accomplishing anything else is a perfect birthday gift to yourself.
Think about the benefits of getting older : I know this would be hard to understand but trust me it is a best way experience that how good you are becoming by passing each year. Getting older is a privilege denied to many so we should be humble about this and think this as blessing. You may feel good as when you were in college you might not look as dapper as you look right now. You can take your won decisions and can live with the outcome of those decisions too. Go through old Facebook albums or search for your birthdate on your phone’s photo gallery. Hell, maybe even go through old photo albums if you have them to really throw it back.
Appreciate the people who are thinking of you: Letting the people we care about know how much they mean to us has a positive, healing benefit for us and for our loved ones as well. There is nothing like being reminded that a person is constantly in your thoughts, with the reminder expressed in a most sincere way. You should not burn those people who have wishes you on this day and make you feel loved and special. I has to say the following messages to these people who remembered this day:
Do you know I never ever feel bored, never ever feel lonely, because you are always in my thoughts and thank you for all the positive influences you had on my life…!
Have a read-a-thon: Have you ever experienced the day in elementary school or in college library where you do not do anything but read all day. Your favourite book and consider to re create that magic as an adult. Your birthday is the perfect time to sit down with a book you've been dying to read. Start that novel or non-fiction book you have had on your list. Clearing your schedule to lose yourself in a great book or two might be the soothing, off-the-grid birthday you’re looking for. I am reading this book currently – An enquiry concerning Human Understanding.
You can Cook (if you like): There is something soothing about cooking whenever I feel SAD or distant or clouded, I just go to the kitchen and cook my favorite food (which I can cook). Not only does it engage all of your senses, but it’s also very rewarding to make a bunch of ingredients come together to form something delicious you can enjoy. If you’re not the most experienced self proclaimed master chef then go easy on yourself. You can choose a ridiculously easy recipe like Korean Noodles or Maggi (with lot of water). The finished product doesn’t have to be pretty or masterful, but it will be a delicious gift to yourself.
Start Fresh – Look Test: I wont do this ever as it is very difficult to look good when GOD was not being kind on you but you can use this opportunity to start fresh in some area in your life. Go the traditional route and do a makeover on your outside. That might mean a new haircut, new outfit, or even something a little riskier like a tattoo. Choose styles that give you confidence and a new outlook. I am thinking to have a Tattoo which will read “एकोहम द्वितीयोनास्ति”
Unwind and relax before bed. As your solo birthday winds down, find a way to relax and pamper yourself just a bit more. Take a steamy shower or a long soak in the tub. Think about purchasing a super-soft, relaxing, new pair of pajamas as one of your presents to yourself. Always remember you are the Hero in your story.
Eventually when I will be doing these things in my next birthday, one thing I am gonna do for sure i.e. switching off my phone for 72 hours and take a break from universe. As they say if you do not feel important or desirable try ghosting people.
Happy Birthday to me!
