Sunday, 11 September 2022

What does it take to strike a chord in my heart?

The most debatable question of all the time “what does a guy look in a girl when they meet first?” How to be sure that she is the one? How guys hopelessly fall in Love without talking to a girl? How come one sided love came in existence where a guy loves a girl and girl is clueless all the time? How do we decide that she is the one? 

There are three steps (for me being a guy) to fall in love with a girl i.e. Appearance (Not Look and Beauty), Her Nature (Basis Observations) and Her Story (If we get to talk to her). If a girl passes these parameters then she got herself a secret admirer without knowing about it. 

Now there are two reasons to write this post, first being this is my blog, and I am authorized to write and second people kept on asking what do you look in a girl (they think I am expert here) or how can you decide that she is the one who has the privilege to break your heart (Happened me most of the time).

As we have lived in the era where movies and series have serious influence over our mind. However when you meet someone like her (Potential person) then your heart just says “she is the one”. Most of the time those girls even not know how influential their personality is which is affecting / inspiring so many souls. Sometimes its being loosely used that Guys always go for looks and beauty and trust me it could be one of the factors but are not the only factor. Well girls, men / guys are not s difficult to understand since they are very straightforward so you can easily decode those things which they notice about you day in day out. Sometimes we are even afraid to tell the same because “Thappad aur Rejection dono se dar lagta hai” and we have never thought ahead of this thought if this could actually work.

Here I am listing few interesting and may be surprising (I know we cant surprise a girl) things men notice about a women. These are based on my understanding and behavior and might not be applicable to even 90% of people (I know I am unique that way) but this would be an interesting read:

Those Eyes (Teri Aankhon ke Sivay dunia me rakha kya hai)

We (I) like to see through those big eyes from which we can see the soul as they say “eyes are the windows to the soul”. Those Eyes can tell us a lot about you even if you don’t talk or even don’t notice us. That is the main reasons most of the guys (not me) are very possessive about their girl because they know for the fact that yours eyes are real magnets that can attract and interest a stranger. Surveys have shown (When you add math's in post it becomes more authentic) that almost 75% of men pay attention to women’s eyes first and then to everything else. Secondly it is always easier for men to compliment about your eyes since women respond very approvingly to compliment about their eyes.

I am one of those stereotype who like those big childish eyes in which I can search the door of her heart (cheesy). Most of the time I zoned out if someone has those eyes because I prefer to have eye contact when I am talking.

A lot of information can be conveyed and received via eye contact, and any guy trying to get to know you will look to yours as a means of reading you (if he is good at it).

Killer Smile / Laugh (sathiyaa… Madhdham Madhdham Teri ye gili Hasi)

As they say a smile is contagious and that’s really true. Its not only a visible treat but sound of a good laugh can attract some of us (me for sure). Moreover, when you smile at someone it provokes a smile in return. A women’s mouth is often the first part a guy would notice not because of great lips or teeth but for social cues and trust me it is the most expressive feature a lady possess. A smile communicate to us in so many languages like “Hey there, you can talk to me” or “You can try but you have to really work hard for it” and “Get lost I am way above your league”. As an introvert person it affect me most of the time so I believe it must affect the next step a guy would like to take.

For me, A smiling woman is much more attractive as she sends the signal of happiness and optimism. Sometimes its easier to start a conversation with a smiling lady. I know its not so surprising but men always feel confident and more masculine with a smiling women. We (I) know which one is artificial smile and which one is natural that’s the reason sometimes we ask “All is well?” or “something is not right today”. The true sign of a sincere and natural smile is typical wrinkles around our eyes and I know because I practiced to smile a lot. My suggestions to all the girls, please smile more often since you never know who may be falling in love with your beautiful smile.

Can She Talk The Walk?

As they say actions speak louder than words the same way its very appealing for a Guy if that girl knows how to hold a conversation. Guys like me who feels difficulty in initiating a conversation and discussing the common topics then it become very necessary that she must have opinion about things which can bring us to common ground where we can put the foundation of the relationship.

The way she talks and the tone she uses to put her point forward. In few words if a girl who can hold a conversation is already attractive in a guy’s mind. For me she would be my 2 AM friend who can give opinion on some random thoughts which keeps me occupied all the time and she would be my conscious who can give me advice on the situation where I am stuck at times. 

The way She Carries Herself

They say that beautiful is something a girl needs to be but I believe instead of that she can be intelligent, interesting, witty, funny, sarcastic and 100 other things which she believes she can be. I think there are few things more beautiful than a confident woman and sometimes I will walk by a woman that radiates such confidence that I am automatically feel drawn to her energy. She must know how to carry herself whenever she is entering a room or a party. It is so attractive on a physical and nonphysical level. She must be strong and know who the heck she is.

Even if you aren’t feeling particularly confident one day, pretend you are. Carry yourself with confidence anyways. Men are attracted to women who know how to carry themselves.

Foot (First) Impression (Tumhare Pair Bahut Khoobsurat hain inhe jameen par mat rakho, Maile ho jayenge)

Okay, so its not a surprise anymore that some of the men love slim legs and they notice this about a woman. How she maintains her feet is another thing men notice and care about. In my opinion (I may be wrong) if a woman can look after her feet, she is someone who pays attention to details. I won’t write further as I do not have any intention to objectify something.

Her Sense of Humor

In fact this is the most important thing for me because I am being sarcastic sometimes which contains dark humor too. So I believe she should be the one who can understand these jokes and my pure intentions. You know it should not be our responsibility to make her laugh, we could expect the same from her. I hope guys are not expecting too much out of it lets say when we are having a bad day, she could try to make us smile with some humour or those tiny jokes and she must not give up until she knows that its fine. She must take life not that serious and even if she messed up something… so what? Make a silly remark and move on.

Ambitious, Humble and Her Refusal to settle for anything but the best

Everytime I see a woman actively pursuing her dreams and trying to get a better life for her and her closed ones. I always applaud that person and it find it very attractive myself because these qualities inspire me too. I want that person to know what she really wants and refuse to settle for anything less whether in a job, in a relationship, friendship or in life. I would be more than happy to change myself in order to alter my plans for her if she is so driven to become what she want to be. This may even mean to stand up for yourself and maybe even revaluate some relationships too. In my opinion everyone’s happiness is non negotiable so why not hers.

Needless to say confident and ambitious means cocky and sometimes people miss the difference. For me remaining humble is an essential part of knowing how to carry yourself. She can be more successful, most beautiful and most amazing human being in the world but she must not think that she better than others. That is being humble.

Sense Of Style 

A sense of style is a really fun way to express yourself because sense of style means for is to feel confident whatever you wear or wear those clothes in which you feel confident. Do not follow a fashion just because its trending and you have to be a part of that race. A Classy dresser lady has already bagged brownie points from him because the way she dresses gives us a certain impression about the woman personality and preferences. 

My have my biased opinion about dresses, if she drapes a saree I am already in Love (obviously she must know how to carry herself). In my alternate universe she must wear Saree at least once in a week not for people in general for me. Her ability to give an outfit personality AND be comfortable in it is what amazes me.

All said and done, she has her own preferences and rights to choose what is good for her and how she wanted to lead the life. However she can have many secret admirers (Not Stalkers) which even she might not know. Unless you are interfering with her privacy and personal space liking someone is very natural. So my advice to people out there is find someone who has these qualities and keep then with you and fight for them because it will help them as well as you. You will get a chance to be with most amazing person who can inspire you and support you. 

I have heard this quote somewhere “Naari Kal bhi Bhaari thi, Naari Aaj bhi Bhaari hai… Purush kal bhi Aabhari tha Purush aaj bhi Aabhari hai”.

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