My Squad - The 2 AM Buddies

Its about time that I should write something about my friends and some of the people who are very special in my Life. I always feel privileged to be around them and sometimes I doubt if I deserve any of them. Knowing me they choose to be around and they show me the mirror at times and defend me when I am not around (I would like to believe that else I will kill him/her). They handle my mood swings, my crazy thought process and my sky high expectations from them (I am the one who give Gyan on not expect anything from anyone). Few of them do status call to check up on me and most of them are connected either via messenger or telepathy (We talk to each other when we get stuck and need each other’s help). They stay up late with me dissecting the meaning of life, motivate me to video call people and propose first girl on my recent calls, sometimes inspire me to improve myself, keep my secrets and they are the perfect ROI mutual funds where Risk is not subject to market risk.

Why I love them and want to keep them forever in my portrait of Life (Yes, I have this stupid portrait where all important people in life are there and posing). Everyone must have a friends like these. Now let me tell you why they are the closest to me and they know the actual version of me (I have split personality too). If you do not have such friends you are missing out. Here’s why (I will ask money from them for writing this):

They show me the Mirror (No Bullshit)

They say honesty is the best policy, I would say honesty is a sensitive thing. They will lie out of kindness to protect your feelings because they think friendship is more important than the truth. On the other hand the trust is invested where I can say they are not the people to play mind games or go behind peoples back. When you ask for advice, if they are your best friends they will cut the chase and without sugar coating they will say what is right. It is a painful experience and you might not be used to receive such brutal truth but you are happy because the intentions are good.

They Will Never Lie

They might go with Poker face and keep quite but they won’t lie to your face. You expect them to tell you the truth and nothing but the truth. Before someone can think or take this literally (we lie to each others in harmless manner), this only applies in situations when someone’s trust is on the line. If they are in the mood then you can get the whatever version of reality to they are experimenting at that point of time. They will play you like nobody’s business.

They will bring better of you

They will have big plans for the future and they enjoy strategizing about how to accomplish them. One of the great thing they provide in a friendship is a desire to constantly improve themselves and Hope to you and their focus at work is contagious. When they get to know that there is something you want, they'll provide a huge amount of direction and motivation to help you reach your goals.

They Get over Stuff

They would not hold a grudge and would love to end a fight. They will hold grounds on intellectual fights which you might have with them because those can impact both of the life. As per them holding grudge is a waste of energy and clearing things is new cool. Having an argument is quite an impersonal thing to a Rational, so even if he initially blows up, the relationship should soon go back to normal with no hard feelings. (He'll/she’ll still think your logic sucks, though.)

One thing I can say for sure just don’t expect forgiveness if you seriously harm or betray your best friend. If he/she is sure that you are not worthy they will end the friendship.

He/She is your 2 AM Buddy

You need a shoulder to cry on, you need someone to talk about your ex. You need to do brainstorm they will be there for you. I have 3 guys, 1 brother and 1 Girl on my speed dial for such crises. They might not enjoy small talks and I have never talk to them formally if my memory serves me correctly but when you have deep discussion about politics, corona or why earth is round then they are the best in business. I use them as Devil’s advocate to challenge my ideas. They are just awesome and you can be you without being judged.

They are your bank locker

If you do not want to discuss your personal life, they are perfectly fine with that arrangements and if you want to discuss issues then you can be vulnerable they will hear you out and suggest one idea or two. They are not interested in exposing your secret. They keep their softer side closely guarded and expect others to do the same.

Over share and you won't regret it, though. Your true friend will understand how hard it is to open up and make yourself vulnerable to someone – they would never abuse that trust.

They set you Free and rescue you in crises

If you choose to be off the radar for few months or ignoring every social engagement then you best friend will accept that with open heart. (I do most of the time, I think Time is precious and I am giving that to someone I care so it’s worth it). They’d prefer it if you both gave each other the freedom to come and go as you please. A good friend will check in with you if it's been too long, but they'll never put demands on you or insist that you hang out or put a condition which you need to follow. There's no codependence in this relationship!

No matter what you're struggling with, they'll encourage you to see all sides of the situation and recognize that there's always a way out. It's all about perspective.

They are Crazy and exact opposite of normal people

They won’t make friends because they are supposed to but they make friends because they choose to. If you are friends with this type which means you are interesting and you are valued. You are a trusted member of a pretty exclusive club. It takes a lot for them to invest in a friendship, and a lot more to scare them away once they've made that investment. They'll take you as you are with all your trait and craziness, and they won't get embarrassed if you're operating outside of social norms

I have very few friends and people whom I can trust and can take bullet for them. For me being in my elite group means a lot to me. It’s a promise that I will be there with you to the bitter end and we can laugh post the dust of uncertainty gets settled. Always remember if someone tries to hurt you trust me I know where to bury dead bodies too (Just Kidding). Thank you for being there with me.

Leap of Faith - God is Great

Let me start this post by admitting that I was the one who was an atheist some point of time. Then suddenly something happened and everything has changed. My trust and faith got restored and started to believe in someone who can control things like nobody’s business. I always trusted the supreme power and try to know God by reading books and listening to people and by consuming knowledge which was easily available to me. I had my life which was nearly perfect as I stopped complaining and was compromising on the entire front. Suddenly something happened and my belief in me got shattered and I was looking for an anchor by which I could came out from those moments and I can get time to think and rethink. Then few people and God came to my rescue, to have faith in God or someone is too believe unconditionally although there is no evidence of His existence. That was the reason I have faith in people along with have in God.

I believe why God can be better than people to have faith because He won’t judge you on the basis of your ideas and your situation. That is the reason people also turn to God to ask for guidance when facing a challenging situation. One of the recent examples where I have perfectly planned everything and have initiated the process to execute the things the planned way but things didn’t turn up well and it failed miserably. Now I have no one but me to blame. I have wonderful people around me who have more faith in me than I have. They keep giving me gyan and all those stuff which can work as medicine to my short comings. In reality I failed and I was not able to understand what went wrong then I took help from books and I realized if a human being can have full control of the situation then he might think that he can do anything and that anything can bring over confidence, false ego and control issues. So that person should have something to keep him grounded then God comes in picture in His weird ways to get things done.

So next time when this person will plan anything, he will be humble and will accommodate the God’s will in his plan. As they say it’s already planned by the master of the universe. If this person will fail again then he will be able to accept that as God’s will. That is the reason faith in God is very important for everyone. Praying can also have the affect of relieving stress, once someone has prayed they might feel that it is in God’s “hands” and allow them to handle the situation easier now that they have a sense of relief.

In my opinion we must have faith in God and follow these points in order to keep faith in almighty.

• If you are yet to find God, trust me there is no time in life to wait around for answers or trying to guess true meaning of life. He is the only way to lead you to your destination.

• I must say have faith in God, be true to yourself and others too. Hard work and fairness will get you far and if you have faith you will overcome everything

• Vivekananda says that the right word for faith is Shraddha. Shraddha cannot be defined. It is the catalyst for realization. So faith is the catalyst for realization which in turn is the realization of god. Everyone comes with a seed of faith that we nurture. As Krishna says in the Bhagavad gita “he (the consciousness) who nurtures these values with supreme faith knowing me Krishna to be above all. He is dearest to me”

• You should be thankful to God everyday as you wake up everyday healthy and it’s a privilege denied to many. Trust God even if you fail at something you are doing. Learn from your mistakes, pick yourself up and try again. Ask Am I happy at what I’m doing in my job and life.

• Always try to look on the Brightside of the life and never give up on your dream. Keep the oil of faith burning and be grateful no matter what.

• Be passionate about anything you do. If you find that you are living your life and are not passionate about it then do the changes in your life. Do not wait for anything take a bold leap of faith and it will pay off. Choose to be Happy!

• Live fearlessly and love with all your heart. Find a purpose that would last, one that can have impact on people or society. Live with a grateful heart, and love the people that come your way.

• Listen to your gut feelings and pursue what you love most. Ignore negative situations and don’t let it overwhelm you. Be positive and have faith in the universe. Respect others equally and enjoy life even during hard times, strive to see the positive of all situations and have fun. (Easier Said then done)

• I would say that you only have one life, and with it being such a short time period, you need to make the most of everything you do. Set goals, accomplish them and celebrate the little things in life.

• Always follow your heart and your passion. Don’t ever let someone tell you that you cannot do something. Family and faith should always be 2 things that you can count on. Always love and respect yourself before asking someone else to.

• Believe in yourself, have compassion for you and others and build a good foundation of faith and self-esteem. That will help you in times that are hard and could shake your hope for a better future. Stand firm in your beliefs.

Faith has great importance in the religious and spiritual realms. Faith may be difficult to prove through scientific experiments, but its presence can often be felt in our everyday life. The popular saying, “Faith can move mountains” is quite true and there have been various examples of this. People overcoming their disabilities, people making a comeback after losing everything, people working for peace and society’s welfare, are just a few examples of how faith can move mountains. With good intentions, and faith in your abilities and God’s guidance, you can achieve anything you want.

Heal Your Partner from their Heart Break - Relationship

As they say if you fall in love the second time always go for the second option because if the first person was good enough for you then you won’t be able to fall for anyone. I hate to admit it that most of the time I judge people or character basis my perception and knowledge of the situation. Since childhood I was told that if you are good you will be encountered with good people in your life. Till now I am unable to prove this either right or wrong. When people leave a place to other place they carry all the memories of that place along with the stuff which was useful for them at that point of time. Emotional attachment is the reason for carrying those belongings. I still remember carrying love letters, audio recordings and greeting cards from my earlier relations (yeah all these were used to be in physical format). Carrying them was a hardship for me mentally and physically and I was so attached to these things that I stopped looking brighter side of the life. I always compare each situation with my earlier shortcomings or bad decisions.

I knew what needs to be done but what about this baggage and emotional attachments I am carrying which I loved at that point of time. I was sitting with a road side person (don’t tell my Mom or anyone for that matter) and having the fun of my life and he has asked me one day that he got a better place for begging which is very far from that place and he has to pay INR 100 daily for that place. In existing place he used to give INR 50 and earn 3 to 5 hundred everyday and he was there for 10 years. When I asked that what will happen to this place. He replied that is not his problem if he wanted to reach somewhere then he has to leave from a place completely else he won’t reach. This was eureka moment for me and I came back home and burned all the physical evidence of my toxic or beautiful or mutually exclusive relationships. I know most of you won’t feel it but trust me I find it comforting and I was able to concentrate on my job hunt ( yeah I was jobless  too at that point of time).

It’s the same way in partnerships: romantic or friendly. And what do you do when your new lover/friend has an extra full cart with scars of previous relations and bad memories along with broken thought process. Lets assume the worst case scenario if your partner barely made it out of their previous relationship with their sanity or worse. Then trust me knowingly or unknowingly it’s a source of conflict in your new relationship. Here is few tried and tested (few of them might be in testing phase by someone else too) points to be considered with a disclaimer that I am not a expert:

Patience of the Buddha

Patience is the key to everything. In any relationships there are the issues which you can see and few of them you cannot see and most of the time you assume because you are afraid to ask. Asking someone who is still reeling from the conflict and other attachments to be patient is a glorious thought but not realistic. You might get yourself blocked out from the scenario. So if you are the one with objectivity and holds the responsibility to be there in scenario then set firm boundaries and love unconditionally (even if you are yet to ask her out).

How many times have you experience this: “hey, you have told that you would call me and reach for dinner date around 7 and now its 8 or you did not even call me to tell that you wont be able to make it or you did not drop a single message.”

Now you are on a cross road where you can communicate in a neutral tone or fight about thousand other things. Trust me its always important to get their side of the story with empathy and compassion. Let’s say in this scenario your friend/lover has shown this more than once and the reason was that they were out with friends and lost the track of time. In this case you must say that you value his/her friends and are completely comfortable that they are having a good time too but instead of just being angry you should ask her/him to value you the same way. If you just show the anger then it will become an issue instead of the problem that you felt left alone.

Don’t buy in

Buying word used in casino where you have to invest certain amount to sit on a table to play. So in same manner just don’t buy in with considering all the aspect about your relationship. You must not make a mistake about it as frustration, anger, control issues along with trust issues all stem from unresolved hurt and pain. Most of the time in a new relationship it’s what your partner fears that you will do based on their experience with others.

You new partner may overreact one day when you say that you are going out with your friends. A common response from me would be to get pissed off, leave and deal with fallout later. I wont recommend it that why this post come in existence. You need to ask what is the reason and most of the time they have a fear that you might found someone else and will cheat on them. Its about feeling insecure and this feeling comes when you think your partner is more dynamic than you. You have to make them feel comfortable as they’ve got to find a way to trust you and you’ve got to find a way to be trustworthy. The road goes both ways. It’s necessary to take a risk and be honest even if it means your partner decides they want to go another direction.

Look at yourself first

It’s always easier to see problems in others than seeing yourself. But you can not help someone else if you haven’t been able to help yourself. So first of all instead of being a counselor you must sort your issues first. I always believed in that and till the time I am clean and ready to move forward I wont go for the next step. I think if you go ahead with broken thoughts and feeling along with no clarity to the coming future then you are destroying multiple lives.

For me Love means being ready, prepared and able to see and fight your deepest pain or joy and to accept it head on. Sometime Sometimes helping another means letting them witness your vulnerability, your trust, your joy, and your pain. Showing them how it is, instead of telling them how it should be. Love while you can and be truthful with the rest.

Let go of ‘perfection ‘You are not Amir Khan

Lets admit that being human is great thing in this universe but we are far from perfect. The basic problem with perfection is that it will overlook the fact that you cant be perfect at everything. When you were busy in achieving perfection in one area the other area would be suffering at the same point of time. When you put your perfectionist hat you are going to cause trouble in your relationship. If you are still not able to understand then let me say in more polite manner that explore how your need to be perfect or right might be affecting your relationship, then loosen the hold and open up to enjoying your forgiving, fun, honest, imperfect relationship. Trust me the most memorable moments in life are those which are not planned. I always miss the morning coffee which was not at all planned and perfect and even I hate the taste of the coffee sometimes but the moment was awesome and that is still fresh in memory lane.

Don’t be a Judge

They say it’s not over till it’s over, and I find it to be true. Assume a scenario where your partner still suffer or have strong feelings about their previous relationship then you are entering into her/his life as a third party (Sounds Bad, I know) when it comes to energy and emotions. Read it carefully which I am about to write, don’t be jealous as that third party its important for you to truly understand both side of the dynamics. As they say when you do not know the type of the knot how will you going to open it.

As the heading suggests don’t be a judge as you are going to encourage your partner to talk about what happened and for you to listen to what’s being said and what’s not being said. In a relationship like this it is important to be willing and able to put yourself in both positions and consider what you would do, in that manner you have clear understanding of the mechanics. I didn’t say it would be easy.

It’s easy to accept that the way you feel and the things you believe are normal – they may be, but that doesn’t mean they’re working for you. There is always the possibility for a new kind of normal. Old wounds have many ways of stealing into relationships. They can disrupt a connection; prevent a connection from reaching take-off. When you are willing to take a leap of faith then everything is beautiful. Love will heal you in longer run as Love is the answer for all the pain. Trust me the day will come when the walls need to fall and the armor needs to soften. Till the time Hang ON! She is worth It!

Traits You will Get in a Libra - Zodiac Sign

As they say, empty mind is devil’s workshop and when a over thinker moves towards self quarantine then it will become a deadly weapon. In this post I will write my experience with two of my most favorite people in my life and cause of them I have interest in astrology and palmistry. Both have mood swings like no other and I am still trying to know both of them like a school going kid. Fortunately both of them share the same Zodiac sign which makes this post must to write. Before I move further I would like to call this post as my first paper for the PHD, I am doing on someone.

As a cardinal air sign, a Libra’s personality is very much about relating to others. They are often considered the nicest, most charming people in the world and they are the favorite of almost everyone they meet. They have a tendency to be magnets for people, drawing many people to them. They are attractive; this has already been deeply established in the Zodiac. They often want things to go smoothly, they can stir up a lot of controversy with their attitude and their behavior at times (I guess both of them would not agree).

One most important point that Libras cannot be rushed and they demand space whenever they feel pressured or crowded.  They are, however, not opposed to putting pressure on others, and often think that it will add to their characters. Libras tend to very outspoken and their views at times can rub a lot of people the wrong day.

Have you ever wondered what is it that makes Libra tick?

Those of us that a born under the Libra zodiac sign are often known for having logical minds and fair judgment but there’s also a lot more to the Libra sign that many people have no idea about.

If you see them closely then you will understand that they are really special and very few people have strong traits like them. Please find the few of them below:

They are very charming, charismatic and romantic souls

These people are charismatic. This Quality gives them the ability to win everyone’s heart with their charming attitude. They are always in front when it comes to popularity and everyone wants to be their friend. So you need to think twice before you contradict them trust me most of the time I just surrender to avoid the conflict. They have long lasting impression on others as they are blessed with inner beauty and outer charm and you can just envy their personality (I do at times).

If they love someone or something, they will go to the ends of the earth to show their love and trust e they can win anyone over with their sweet talk. It is advisable not to play with their emotions because it is real. With their ability and personality to sweet talk, it is hard not to fall for them, but once you do, there is no way you regret it.

They are honest, Calm, emotionally intelligent 

As I told I have a lot to talk about this sign so combining all the traits which are self explainable, Libra will surely stand for “Honesty is the Best Policy”, they are very honest and they stick to the truth and they won’t be badmouthing you behind your back. Since they are honest with you they expect the same courtesy in return (This expectation everyone has but few of them get that). They are not among those who escape from the situation after committing some wrong doing.

They are known for their calmness and they never lose their temper (I know one of them never loses). If they do, you (This should be me) have done something which exceeds their limits. Their relaxed attitude allows them to have more friends than enemies.

They have a firm hold on their emotions. They do not go around pouring out their anger or worries on other people (Sometime I want them to do). They are aware of their surroundings and will try their best not to make a scene. One of the best qualities which I like about them is their empathetic nature – they will not judge you! You can trust them with your secrets and you can cry with them (One of them is pro at this)

Creative Minds and love challenges

Having creative mind helps them a lot especially in the real work setting in the industry they are into. These people happens to be one of the biggest daydreamers you will ever meet (I know both of them will not agree and might kill me for this) and at times they refuse to face the reality. They have deep thinking that is the reason their extreme imaginations get difficult to execute. My advice would be that they must learn to avoid prolonged decision and be quick thinker in life. 

Let me quote a scene from “Titanic” where the Hero asked the heroin “Where to Miss?” the Heroin who must be Libran replied, “To the stars”. This is the limit of Libra’s imagination.

These people are naturally competitive in nature. Challenges in life are the most common part in their life, they like to accept challenge and challenge others too. Trust me they can do anything to win the race. This is my personal experience that this quality (To win the race) in even the smallest tasks of their everyday lives, the way these people takes every single competition as the question of life and death. If you are in their team, you have to keep up the pace and seek help from God to match the pace.

Very Optimistic and Problem solver (Life Hacks)

When it comes to achieving their dreams and goal, failure can not stop them. They do not get settled before attaining perfection. Their positive thinking and God loving nature allows them to try till they succeed, they never give up. Trust me their positivity is contagious too.

Believe me or not, Libra’s have answers to everything. You have a problem they will come up a solution which will suits to everybody. If you ever have a problem, do not hesitate to ask. For all we know, they probably have the answers to Corona problems too (This is not sarcasm, If they think they will have) not vaccine of course. I will look forward to know the Zodiac sign of the scientist who would discover vaccine for Corona.

If you are depressed or are going through a difficult situation always ask a Libra for advice.

Easily Get Frustrated

They get frustrated when they have to deal with a negative person who do nothing but criticize them and poke holes in every single idea that they have (Personal experience, you have to deal with wrath of Titans). They would like to hand out with people who have “can do” approach to life and will keep social distance to the people who constantly try to bring them down. As they are very careful with their moves this is the reason why they get offended by other people’s rough behaviors. So my advice when you are with these people, make sure you watch your behavior (I am forced to write this else they are very sweet people: P)

Decision making might be an issue?

Most of the Libra’s are extremely annoying because of their nature of giving too personal remarks, without even knowing that they already hurt someone. I would consider this as a negative trait in this sign. Making their own great decision can be very difficult for these people and it is even harder to learn in their mistake. However, they can always win the situation by utilizing their rational mind and accurate intuitions.

They can hurt people most often but get the score settled easily

If I have to write this I would say these individual don’t have control over their anger, you can call them short tempered. They hurt others most often but as they are the nicest people in Zodiac, this is the reason they recover their quarrels easily. I am told and would like to believe that They can get very high in anger but never keep anything in the heart.

I think this post can become the longest I have ever written so bringing this to an end.These people are strongly motivated, optimistic and competitive and their traits are unique from others. Surely not all Libra’s possess all these traits but you will definitely find this quality in the depth of their personality. They like to deal with the situation as they come.

No wonder they are always positive! Don't you think they're just great?