Why Can't We Rise in Love ?

Being a Batman fan, I mostly loved all the dialogues from the movie (Christian Bale is my Batman) but one of the dialogue from that movie is very relevant for the topic which I am trying to explore today. When Alfred asks “Mr. Wayne, Why do we fall?” and then he answers himself “So, we can rise again”. That was a raw idea behind this post and then someone has inspired me in recent times to give some thoughts about how I feel about certain things. So I took the most overrated and over discussed topic for the post “What is Love and why we fall into it”.

Love is a word that has been used in many different contexts. It can be romantic love, platonic love, spiritual love, or even the love for your country. However, the one thing that does not change is the feeling of happiness and excitement when you are in love with someone. But since beginning we have been infused with some borrowed thoughts and I could say feelings too where we have been told that what a love could be. For example all SRK movies for that matter which has given us (boys) complex and set the standard so high that all the girls were looking for Raj and Rahul and in between average looking people got suffered (pain is real). In the same process sense of being lonely for rest of your life made us believe that whatever is being told in movies or stories are real. In this circus the actual feelings got lost and no one knows what is being in love. I have been questioning myself what could it be like being in love or what should I be feeling when I am in love. Then comes the billion dollar question why everyone is falling in love as if it is a mistake or a trap. Being analytical and overthinker by nature I believe we fall in trap, we fall on road and we fall in well which also suggests that we were not paying attention then why people use loosely this phrase “I fell in love” which will follow with the sentence “and it was a mistake”.

To assume of love as something to fall into can be limiting to relationships and in some instances inaccurate. Instead of falling in love, a greater fruitful thinking is to “Rise in Love”. Love is a very complex and difficult thing to define. It is not just one emotion but many emotions that can be hard to identify. Falling in love happens when we are attracted to someone, and we don’t know why. Love is an emotion that we experience and it’s a feeling that cannot be described with words. 

But what if you are unable to understand what your feelings are? 

What if you fall for anyone? 

What if trust and togetherness doesn’t matter to you? 

What if finding a life partner is not important to you? 

What if being in Love with someone is just enough to live life? 

What if your perfect person is in front of you and you do not want to accept that affection? 

Reasons could be 100s but the point which I am trying to derive that we fall when we are not ready, that could be the reason we “fall in love” instead of “Rise in Love”. 

May be falling is always easy and this could be the reason we always fall in love. Just imagine you are falling from 100 foot building and it will take only few seconds for you to reach the bottom of the building. Now you will say that fall in love is not equal to falling from the building. I would agree but it is a fall that has tempted many souls throughout our histories, movies and serials. Love appears inviting and tremendous on the different side of the fall, and we overlook everything so we can leap. As referred earlier that SRK movies have made falling in love so fancy so they can conveniently overlooked the problems in real life. Many of us (including me) hold fantasy about how a real love will look like and feel like. 

Will violin play?

Will I fall like SRK in Om Shanti Om? 

Will I be lost in her eyes ignoring that hello which she is saying to me? 

Will I be lost talking to her and just nod my head in between (Its an art)?

Will it be like fanboy moment?

Lets say you find this person, you may expect this person to understand you, accept your faults and meet all your emotional needs and if all flags turn out to be green then this person will want to marry you. Someone once told me that you want someone who can hear your silence and I was like this could be a too much expectation from someone. But in real life when you project this fantasy of perfection onto whomever you are dating then this fantasy mixes with real life issues and the desperate desire to be loved. When these ingredients mixes it creates a powerful toxic acid for your life. At this time we may feel anger, resentment, doubt and even despair. We think, “How can I be not lucky in love? Where is my Raj from DDLJ? Where is my real Soul mate? Why these things happen with me?  Then we closed our heart from the most important and powerful feeling called Love.

So here is the idea which I want to sell that instead of falling in love, we need to rise in love. We need to evolve beyond our expectations about lover’s nature. We must realize that love is much more than the templates set like soulmate, marriage and family. These ideas have corrupted us (means generations) by media, society, families and those 4 people whom I am searching since childhood. 

If Love (means emotion) could talk, he might ask that why people have been burdened him with accusations that he causes miserable pain. How can a emotion as beautiful as love causes pain, if it is causing pain its not love. For example I have find a girl who I think is picture perfect for me and she will be a perfect object (No disrespect just an example) of my affection and when she fail living up to that expectations, I feel pain. Then who is causing pain, in my opinion Love is not. 

Like a hypocrite, we want unconditional love but in the same sentence we put the condition that my partner should love me like someone whom I have admired in my earlier days. In my opinion Love should be free and unconditional and my point of rising in love means seeing the love unconditionally in all forms. There would not be pain as acceptance is pathway to true love and freedom. If you think you could be happy by binding someone via rituals, norms or other conditions then you are not right entirely. Sometimes people are so good in compromising and due to society and those norms they just live the life in regret and grief. In my opinion that is not an example of leading a good life or having a relationship where you lose yourself in the process.

Our desperation of searching Love that distracts us and keep us away from finding love we truly desire or seek. The Love which starts from you where you first find yourself then be in love without putting a condition there.

Now I have set the context so we could agree that falling in love does some damages over a period of time and you lose a sense of your identity and your personality traits changes basis the preferences of your partner. You always look forward to your partner for validations and seek approvals from him/her. You keep on doing the same thing which your partner likes and in mean time you lose your individuality and forget how happy you were when you first got an idea of being in love. I am sure there are million other ways to go wrong in this approach as love does not teach you that. As I like to showoff that my mathematics and analytical skills are great and when you say things combining with numbers those seems more appealing. So here it goes, two people come together in a relationship to share their space with the feeling of love which means as two individuals you were 100% in love with each other that’s why you decided to come together. If you do not love one hundred per cent of someone, you do no longer deserve their love and it’s as easy as that. Loving must be as convenient as breathing, and it must evoke emotions of joy, happiness and positivity. 

Now as I have established myself as a person who knows it all so here are few pointers which you would save you from falling in love and instead rising in love with your perfect partner:

Accept each other (Meaning 100%)

First rule of relationship which needs to be followed to the core. Embrace the flaws of your partner first and make a peace with it once and for all. Everyone thinks that their life is complex so in that case with whom you are moving forward is no exception which means you and that person built differently. I keep on saying that perfection is an illusion and its better to accept that you might have flaws which will make you more humane. You must have a progressive thought process to understand someone’s behavior instead of judging them basis those short comings.

Give them space to grow

Many people in relationships have trouble with giving each other space. They are afraid that they may lose the other person’s attention, or they think that they will get lost in their partner’s life.

But that isn’t the case. Giving your partner space will help you both to grow individually and together. It allows you to find out more about your self and what you want out of life and your future relationship.

Since we spend a significant amount of time with our partners, we need time apart from them too. That way when we come back together, we are enriched with new takeaways and can tell our stories to each other which leads to more intimacy and understanding of our partners' perspective on things

Have a good Ear

Sometimes all you need is to listen because your partner just want to vent out the thoughts which are bothering them. No matter how contradictory opinions are from each other, you have to remember the rule no. 1 that they are allowed to be different and it doesn’t really matter if you both are not aligned with one thought. If you follow that then instead of having heated arguments you will learn something new from her/him.

5 Complements in a day (lol, who is counting)

Everyone wants to listen something good about themselves. If you complement someone you will get to see the following:

1. Those puppy eyes looking at you (👀)
2. Blushing cheeks which will turn red eventually (😳)
3. And in return this sentence “really, you are joking right?” (😂)

I would do anything possible in the world to see these on a regular basis. You can make them feel special all you need to pay attention to small details (I did PHD) and try to choose words which evoke positivity. This will ensure positivity and happiness all around. 

Learn and Learn to improve 

We should always be open to learning from each other. When we have a willingness to learn from each other and are willing to accept differences, we can gain more knowledge.

Many people are under the impression that they can never learn anything new because they think they know it all. However, people should be open to learning new things. They should be willing to try new methods and strategies so that they can grow in their profession or field. For example I know someone who has totally different point of view about life and that was not practical but when I learn about that person I understood the prospective towards thing and you wont believe that shook my thought process too.

We spend most of our time with people, which means we need to find the right person. But it's not only about the person we date. It may sound like a lot but it's something that is worth thinking about carefully before making a decision. There is nothing more exciting than falling in love and getting to know someone on such a deep level, feeling butterflies as your feelings grow for him/her and there is nothing more important. But you should make yourself a promise that even after falling in love or after failing in love you will never hit rock bottom again. You have to take care of yourself and you will date again and this time in Love, you will rise instead of falling into it. Rising is the only option available for you because you are not suppose to go down because no one deserve being hurt in Love. must know that you have to rise because you are Love and Love is not here to let you fall and break. 

In other words, despite all the pointers and opinion I have, there’s something about love, falling in love, being in love surpasses all our definitions and attempts to understand. But, in the end, we love who we love, and the act of loving makes us who we are. If I do not close this post with following lines then I am not at all doing justice to this

Jise dhoondhta hoon main har gali… Wo Ladki hai Kahaan…!!!

Revisiting the Memory Lane - 3201

Here I am with one of the most important topics to cover. Its about the best days of my Life when I lived for me not for anyone else and I did not care about being vulnerable or showing up the weakness. You might be wondering as how these can be defined as best days. So answer to your question, as they say that best days for any human being is when he/she learnt new ways or they discover themselves or they Live the life fullest. If I look at myself 8 years ago, I was the one who used to define terms of my life and who was not afraid of anything and was always ready for consequences of his own actions. As life is all about facing changes and adopt it and I was no exception.

When my friends got to know about this Blog then they have forced me to write something about the days which we spent together in Gurgaon at my flat 3201. It was a open BAR for all my friends (I have very few friends) and I am not going to name these people as most of these are the best kids at their home. This all got started at 18^th October 2019 or later in October when some chain of events forced me to rethink about all the current arrangements in life (I am not gonna talk about it). I needed a distraction and Anchor who can hold me there for sometime so I can figure out most of the things on my own either by overthinking or logically. These are the folks I relied on and I trusted my Life with them. Like everyone else in this world, I hate being vulnerable but the comfort some of them have provided me was unmatchable. One of them believes that our connection is because of selfishness of both the parties and that was true in the beginning (Cant write much).

I am listing down the last few days of my life which I spent in Gurgaon in 3201.

12^th March: It was a sudden when I got to know that WFH was started in the company and this should be followed religiously. I was suppose to be relieved on 16^th as it was my last day as per my plan but as always my plans never worked out the way I want them. I have MN to help me relieved this day only as I do not want to start this setup for two days and surprisingly KP also joined the forces. I must say I was more concerned about the product review on Monday which was kind of nightmare for me. So finally it was decided that today is my last day and I was not able to react to this. I was forced by someone to meet the founders and I did as I was told and later in the evening entire team was ready for in house party at 3201. Planning was done and we were sitting at my place with all sort of arrangements which was enough to make us high. I still remember the game where the movie name suppose to be guessed and I have given “Langda daude Gali Gali” which is not qualified as a movie but everything is fair in competition. Then we have discussed what I feel about all the people available in group that day, apart from one person all my opinion was true and for that person I was honest only 40% as my honesty would not have served the higher purpose so I choose to hide few facts. That day I felt very humble as so many people said good things about me and I felt the same way for them. When this party got over and it was time to say good bye to each and everyone of them. It was done in most decent manner as I was too high to comment on this now. I decided that I will make the best use of the rest of the days so instead of planning for entire days, I started one day at a time so I have 13^th (Friday), 16^th (Monday), 17^th (Tuesday) and 18^th (Wednesday) so we planned for 13^th March.

13^th March: Following the philosophy one day at a time, I was all set for the day where we were suppose to meet on breakfast followed by movie and post that plan was yet to be created. I have reached to the decided place where someone was connected to the internet and taking business call so I concentrated on ordering breakfast and once everyone was there we moved to movie and at that time we didn’t know that it was Irfan Khan’s last performance which we were watching. This day I got a chance to choose my farewell gift (watch) so we have visited few places and finalized it. There are very limited colors in my life so I get settled with Black. We have ordered food and carry it to my place 3201 where we did lot of Bakar and had few beers. The time has come to call it a day and trust me it was the most amazing day where no stress on work and anything, I was happy being me and living the moment. In evening (later) BV came from Delhi to have an extended party where I was already down with couple of beers. So me, VT and BV started with the session and it was one of those sessions which you can not forget where your friends push you to accept something which they think you are denying and they give you reality check. We were high like anything, even today when I see those pics I could not stop my laugh. We were given dare where I have to call my one of my contacts and other have to send random Insta requests which later I got to know that VT got lucky and task was done. We were making notes so we can discuss tomorrow. It was hell of a ride as I have revisited all those memories which we have created in 6 years and counting it on for more years.

16^th March: Day has started, and I was officially jobless as my last was 13^th March in office and as decided we (KP and me) have to give a farewell lunch to the team. We reached to the venue and we were waiting for the team members to join. As I said my planning never go as expected so due to Covid only few of them make to the lunch and I was kind of sad initially but it turned out to be the best day as we had lot of fun. One thing I could say that I have earned some place in these people life who turned out to the venue and for those who called me to tell that they won’t make it. The lunch got over and we decided to do after lunch catchup in one of the open restaurants as it was few of the last days I had at my end to be with them. Trust me I felt like I was in some sort of movie and my life is about to end so I wanted to maximize the exposure. This was the day I got to know if you order coffee you have to say extra hot else they will give you coffee on some random temperature. I am quick learner that way. I got two very thoughtful gifts one was watch which was my favorite and second one was Poker set as someone thought I am a gambler which some how I did not deny. It was a day well spent and I asked someone that I want to meet tomorrow and my request was honored. I came to 3201 and VT and RR was there with Beers and food as my entire home was shifted to Bangalore on 15^th and I was left with one mattress and bedsheet. These guys always make me feel important and sometimes I feel I am not worthy enough for their compliments as it increased my responsibility and attachments towards them and I hate attachments. This day passed and I was thinking what I would do when I wont be around with them, I have never felt the same whenever I left something behind in order to move forward. Some drunk and high calls done today too as when I cant sleep I think.

17^th March: Yesterday was my farewell lunch and courtesy Covid very few of people turnout to appear and I was glad those people are there who mattered me the most. I keep on asking what is the plan and I got one, we were meeting again today. I was excited like a kid who got his way to full fill his wish to get his favorite toy or icecream. We meet again and this day was very special as I got to know about the person very thoroughly and I realized that the connection between us was beyond comprehension and as this person (he/she) was the most beautiful soul I have ever come across. I was so involved in knowing the story it seems some was walking me through my own life's decision. This was the day I fall for the idea of being with that person. I am known to be a person who can hide emotions and show absolute detachment, I was trying very hard to keep up the reputation. These 4 hours I can trade with anything in my life and that day we did not click pictures and I was containing and creating as much memories as I can. My other gang was waiting for me at a Bar where I reached around 2030 hours lost in thoughts if I can stop the time at that point and keep listening those words which were giving me validation that my profiling was not wrong and that person is the one. Do not have liberty to write more so moving on to the party which was already started as I have already delayed. We were having the drinks and MR. RR, VT and BV were crazy which I have not seen them earlier. I have to make a promise to them that we will be in touch and trust me it is a bigger commitment which I have given my office mates in last 10 years. I do not want to be in touch because emotions were not good for my health as a overthinker and emotional person. We finished two bottles that day and was singing songs out loud. Still remember RR dance moves and VT’s drunken moves.

18^th March: This was the D day when I have to leave from Gurgaon permanently with some promises to my closed people that I would bring them to the place where I was going and I still trying. The day started with an Hangover as some stuff was there which has to be finished before I move out from Gurgaon and that was last stock. I was so Sad and confused and was not able to determine my mood as this was a new feeling after the long time where moving away from few people was very difficult. I hate to admit since 28th Jan till this date I regret my decision to move on but me being me I have to test out something and I have to be sure about my feelings and surroundings. Mr. VT has went to office and he suppose to come in the evening when I have to leave and Mr. RR was busy with his own shit as he was already happy being secret Santa. I waited till I received a call to reach out some place where we all three can meet and courtesy Covid few places were open so we met at one of the open property in Gurgaon where we had lots of discussion related to office stuff and most avoidable question of my Life as what I am gonna do when I am away from the people I cared and loved. Later in the afternoon we moved out to the place where I have last drinks of the day in Gurgaon with one of my favorite people. This still feels fresh when I suppose to enjoy the moment but the only thing I could think at that point of time that I wont be able to see them ever (Given my destiny’s past track record). I was in a dilemma what should I say and how should I say that these 5 months were the best part of my life but the current circumstances did allow me to confess. Then I got dropped of at my place and that 5 last minutes still make me feel sad and I can trade anything to keep that moment freeze. On a lighter note I still have the video of breathless song which was performed in the car. Crazy memories… I reached to 3201 and my gang was waiting for me with more alcohol as if they wont get a chance to meet me again. I gave courage to them rather I would say to myself that we will meet again and I left for Railway station. When I was in Cab through out the journey till I reach my home town I was not able to sleep each and every small things which we spoke argued were fresh in my memory and those are still intact. Those chats are precious to me and give me strength and tell me that I am human too who just got stuck in wrong time.

Today, 18^th March 2021, when I look back and recall these memories then I think that those days couldn't be better than they already are. It seems as If these happened yesterday. I am a prisoner to these memories where I play victim, judge and lawyer to defend my judgements and till now I am not sure if I could have handled it in better manner or My judgement was right to move away from the people I cared. Writing these memories are my attempt to over come my most felt fear where I see myself loosing my memory or blocking my memories. This is my attempt to bring back good times which we spent alongside and these I would want to take it to my grave. Whatever I felt was real and even if I try to hide it from the world but I have to be honest to myself.

Will You Be My Valentine?

Before we talk about the reasons why you should be my Valentine (forever) and why I believe that you are making the difference in my life. Let’s talk about the feelings which forces you to express from your heart but mind always overruled the situation. When we fall in love with an individual, we give them a piece of our existence and hope. We share same bond and make it stronger and this feeling is beyond comprehension. That’s how two people grow closer to one another and form a never-ending bond of happiness, tears and silence. In my opinion “I LOVE YOU” is the most selfish phrase ever written where I would be putting myself before Love and “You” and without “I” this phrase seems incomplete. For me Love is beyond logic, situation and condition, I believe “Loving anyone can not be bound under any conditions”. Hence, I have never used this phrase till now. Love should be there in a raw form which only can be felt, that is the reason they say, “the Love is in the Air”.

Reasons for loving someone?

These reasons can not be logically addressed. These come to my mind when I miss them. When I feel, I am about to lose them or they are beyond my reach or may be I wont be able to see them. They are constant reminders of my love for them. When I miss the one, I love, my mind just starts jotting down the words on its own. I just wear my overthinking cap and think about the 8 aspect of the outcomes. I believe in the power of expression and expressing one’s feelings should be of the utmost importance. Without revealing our emotions and our thoughts into words, I don’t think we can lead to a honest self-life where we should not justify our steps which were not taken. It is a feeling where your heart skips a beat and your hands are shaky and joy overwhelms when you hear her voice or see her or you are with her, but you can’t find the right words to express how you feel. You mind make us cute phrases and tiny cheesy sentences, but it simply doesn’t cut it to put a feeling so strong and so big into something as tiny as words.

I am told that though the words are tiny, they have a much greater impact than one would think. That’s the reason I am here with the list of 14 reasons why You should be my Valentine or Why I feel the connection:

1. You’re my best friend, If I had to write 100 reasons why I feel this connection with you this would be my favourite one. You and I are a team. We have so much fun doing absolutely nothing. Sitting idle with you seems so much interesting. We share chemistry so strong nothing can break it. We might not look perfect on paper, but we are acute angle. You are the one of my safe haven, my first call whenever something happens (good or bad), you are someone I can talk to about anything and everything. That feeling is making me love myself more, and without even trying, you are turning me into a better person . With you by my side, I am the best version of me. 

2. I want you to be my valentine because you introduce me to a new universe. I never felt fully accepted before you came along. Someone was always trying to make me different to fit their world. They always pushed me to change, and you wouldn’t have me any other way. In your eyes, I am just the right amount of weirdness and remarkableness. You like the bright parts of me but accept my darker days as well. You do not expect me to be someone I’m not, and that’s so liberating and help me to be grounded.

3. I want you to be my valentine because you saved me from the demons that possessed me. I think you are my guardian angel. Having you around make me feel safe and I can be vulnerable too. Never in my life had I known a person so dependable and then you came along. You never lie to me or mess with my feelings. I can depend on you for everything as you can on me. Let me tell you that it was the first hand feeling that with you I can relax and silence my fears.

4. I want you to be my valentine because you make me laugh and you make me forget the world. I think being with you is as easy as breathing. You don’t complicate things; there is no drama or mind games. You make me the happiest I’ve ever been. You don’t have to do anything special—your presence alone is enough to make my day amazing. You make every ordinary moment count. Laughter, inside jokes (sarcasm and Mean Jokes).

5. I want you to be my valentine because I am scared of getting closer to you as I have a burden of the past but I am not scared that you will leave because I have learned to respect the choices of people as everyone has a right to live their life on their terms. You are always in my corner, cheering me on to believe in myself and push harder. With you by my side, there is nothing I can’t do. You silence my insecurities.

6. I want you to be my valentine because you are interested in unravelling the words of my untold story. The words that I vowed never to show anyone. You make me want to read them out loud and you make me want to write a happy ending. Maybe everything isn’t always perfect like in the fairytales, but I still love the reality of us more. Let me quote SRK “Agar akhir me sab achchha na ho to samajhna Picture abhi baaki hai mere dost”. All of the stories I have seen but it seems in this story, we can be our unique selves. In our story, even the most difficult of times are easier because we have one another to lean on.

7. I want you to be my valentine because when I miss you I know where to find you. I admit most of the time my overthinking stops me doing something which I want to do but deep inside my heart I know you would be there. Sometimes we don’t even have to speak to understand one another. We pick up on each other’s vibes. We know when it’s best to say nothing and I am learning when it’s best to speak up. 

8. I want you to be my valentine because there is something so strong between us that there is no logic which can explain it. I feel so much that words don’t cut it. If you feel the same for me, you will know what I’m talking about. I adore you. When we talk, I forget that the rest of the world exists. For me, there is no one but you. This love consumes me.

9. I want you to be my valentine because you make me feel like a kid in love. it’s funny, but I fell so hard for you that it makes me feel like a teenager who has found his connection for the first time in his life. I look forward to every text or call from you. I can’t wait to see you, and I can never get enough of you.

10. I want you to be my valentine because you are my soulmate and whenever I see a movie or listen to those cheesy lines: “I knew from the moment I met you”. It seemed so fake to me because before you, I could never say that. I really did know that you were someone special from the moment I laid my eyes on you. You are the most beautiful thing happen to me. What I felt at that moment had nothing to do with reason and logic. I guess emotions rarely do. I am glad you proved me wrong. 

11. I want you to be my valentine because you value me. I know there is no point in wandering through the past, but I guess it’s excusable when it helps you value the present moment. Sometime circumstances do not allow me to express as I think people will judge me. I have always been taken for granted and my actions were judged basis people convenience irrespective of my intentions. 

12. I want you to be my valentine because I am done running away from you since I felt this special feeling. I miss you when you are not around. That’s one of the first signs that screamed that I fall for you before I gathered up the courage to admit it to myself. I get threatened with the thought of not getting to see you or not able to talk to you. I always tried to hide it and run away from the situation because I think I am not the one for you but the distance makes this feeling more stronger.

13. I want you to be my valentine because I love making memories with you. We have shared so much so far that it seems like I know you far more than I do. We have shared moments so beautiful and so powerful that they are making me warm inside every time I think of them. Those memories are the reasons I never feel down even in the toughest situations.

14. I want you to be my valentine because you because you made my walls tumble down. My past made me build walls around my heart that I thought were unbreachable. I was someone else who was just existing in my life and justifying all my actions to the people around me. You showed me that you were different. You showed me that I can trust you. You showed me that you would never intentionally hurt me, and I had no other choice but to let you get close. I am glad I did. You taught me how to love again by believing in me, by believing in your gut feeling that if we were meant to be, we will be together.

I spent half of my life dreaming about that one special person, and you put my dreams to bring shame on. You are better than anything I could ever dream or imagine. You are the one who compliments my life and makes it incredible. There could never be anyone else but you. I am not sure if this all make sense but end of the day… You are the magic I believed in and there is no logic when it comes to magic. The moments with you, thats when I wish I could stop time!

Happy Valentines day !

Yours,

Table No. 18, Pepe Verde's Cafe

Happy Birthday from Unbeatendesire!

 Dear Birthday Girl,

Cheer up. Take courage. “The truth is that getting older is nothing to be feared. Its make you unique in its own ways”. As the years go by, you gain a perspective not found in younger years. Mysteries of why things happened years ago start to clear up. You can see how the pieces of life fit together. Using thoughtful retrospection, the older you become, the more life makes sense.

You are indeed a great personality - the way you talk, the way you smile, your obsession for success, love for your family. Your passion for your future, your philosophical thoughts, clarity about your life, the purity in your heart, control over your emotions, your friendly nature, your efforts to make me laugh when I feel alone, when I feel so low. The way you turn every intense situation into something positive and sometimes light. Being yourself, being so selfless, adventurous, caring, affectionate and Crazy. 

We have not known each other for a long time, about a year and a half at most. But I do know this; I have feelings for you. What I do know for certain is that you are kind, beautiful and one of the most fantastic people I have ever known. You are precious to me and I couldn't bear to see you hurt. I would just about lose my mind. I am the kind of person who would like to hide behind blogs and open letters, when it comes to talking about my feelings, I'm not the best at it. I just don't enjoy addressing matters of the heart.

Let's be honest... we're practically polar opposites. However, we have enough similarities to get along, I think. Here are a few reasons why I like the hell out of you and why you should be super excited about your birthday (Yes, I'm writing a list of the reasons. I warned you):

• You're really good at what you do and you're so passionate about it. Who wouldn't admire that? A damned hater, that's who! 
• You are so supportive of me. The other day I was feeling really down, and I shared with you what I was going through. You listened and offered words of encouragement in a way that showed you really do care. You'd never just give me the whole "Stop complaining because many people would love to be in your shoes" response that so many people give; that response has inspired me to NOT open up about my feelings when I'm going through hard times. But you don't do that to me. You're just there for me. It means a lot. Yeah.
• I love talking to you on the phone. I like getting excited when I realize I've got a text from you. You are may one of the favorite notification on Whatsapp.
• My life is pretty weird and unpredictable. Sometimes because of my career and my personal issues. With you, it is like everything is normal and so peaceful and I have never felt the same way for years.
• I think you deserve the world, yet somehow I don’t think you always see that. But I want you to know, I often find my own self wondering what I did to deserve you.
• You taught me what a connection really is and I got crazy when you told that You come in to people’s lives with a purpose and you change them. You make every single person around you better, without even realizing it.
• You’re the person that someone can only live without, if they’ve never lived with them before. You light up every room, and lift up every single person around you. People need you.
• You get to know them down to their very core, even when they’re hard to get to know. You go to war for the people that you love, and do it without even thinking. Love isn’t an option for you. It’s just who you are and it makes you the most beautiful soul I have ever known. Because your love isn’t fearful, or weak. It’s the most powerful force that I have ever felt—indestructible and unconditional.
• If for any reason, we ever fight about something, and I mean really fight about something, I will always want to fix it. I hope you stay around for a long time, because I want you in my life forever. You have made my life so much better since you entered it and the memories that we have made together are one in a million. With that being said, I hope you know how much I appreciate you, how much I appreciate everything that you do for me. And I hope that you know I would do anything for you, without even hesitating because you're my best friend.

I could have written a lot of things as you know but I am not going to make this post boring for you so sub listing few points for which you should be happy as its you 18th Birthday with 12 year’s experience: 

1. You have the ability to create a smile and trust me that you have a beautiful smile that erases all the worries away.
2. Your happiness is contagious and you have the perfect timing in entering a person’s life.
3. You are candid in the most positive way.
4. You can stay for as long as you’re needed and A simple “Hi” from you is something worth hearing.
5. You know how to tease and not make a person angry. I can vouch for that.
6. You make a heart beat fast… and faster and your stare is worth a smile.
7. Your genuinely say “sorry” and I don’t know how you do it.
8. Your heart is as big as your soul and you give good advice even if the situation doesn’t coincide with your life.
9. You have principles and you follow them.
10. You love your God (YOUR) more than anybody.
11. You pick your closest friends and don’t forget them.
12. When the temperature rises, you choose to go to sleep and put your phone on “Airplane Mode” and I hate it.
13. You don’t make someone feel bad.
14. You avoid wars just as you always find peace.
15. You trust that your thoughts are true.
16. You are not afraid to question things.
17. You’re brave because you want to.
18. You love conversations and people might not know but you are easy to talk to.
19. Your silence is magical and it put me revisit all the conversation where I could be wrong.
20. Your soul is beautiful in every single way.
21. You stand by what you believe in life and for that you follow and break rules at the same time.
22. You don’t really assume that the society’s standards are all true.
23. You love yourself and trust me you would never walk alone because you are loved by people.
24. You don’t fake your emotions and you try to explain your self but don’t expect to be understood.
25. You know how to keep secrets and Friendship with you is an exciting adventure and you can walk a mile on someone’s shoes.
26. You are not afraid to make a mistake and your opinions always matter.
27. You won’t be forgotten easily and you don’t compete in attention – you don’t need to.
28. You are not someone to be liked; you are someone to be loved.
29. Your genuineness will stay forever.
30. You are special, and you may not know it.

Thank you for sticking by me, getting to know my life, showing me the most sincere support and unconditional care. I couldn't thank you enough for the countless amount of times that you have stuck by me when I needed you. I have no idea what I'd do without you sometimes... or all of the time. And I am so happy that I don't ever have to find out.

Even I am not happy with wrinkles and thinning hair when we grow more older as every year is a single step reaching to that destination. But I love getting older. It is a sweet time in life. Embrace it. Go ahead. I dare you. Fall in love with getting older.

Happy Birthday…! Don’t count your wrinkles count your blessings!

Yours!

Ji chang Wook

My Squad - The 2 AM Buddies

Its about time that I should write something about my friends and some of the people who are very special in my Life. I always feel privileged to be around them and sometimes I doubt if I deserve any of them. Knowing me they choose to be around and they show me the mirror at times and defend me when I am not around (I would like to believe that else I will kill him/her). They handle my mood swings, my crazy thought process and my sky high expectations from them (I am the one who give Gyan on not expect anything from anyone). Few of them do status call to check up on me and most of them are connected either via messenger or telepathy (We talk to each other when we get stuck and need each other’s help). They stay up late with me dissecting the meaning of life, motivate me to video call people and propose first girl on my recent calls, sometimes inspire me to improve myself, keep my secrets and they are the perfect ROI mutual funds where Risk is not subject to market risk.

Why I love them and want to keep them forever in my portrait of Life (Yes, I have this stupid portrait where all important people in life are there and posing). Everyone must have a friends like these. Now let me tell you why they are the closest to me and they know the actual version of me (I have split personality too). If you do not have such friends you are missing out. Here’s why (I will ask money from them for writing this):

They show me the Mirror (No Bullshit)

They say honesty is the best policy, I would say honesty is a sensitive thing. They will lie out of kindness to protect your feelings because they think friendship is more important than the truth. On the other hand the trust is invested where I can say they are not the people to play mind games or go behind peoples back. When you ask for advice, if they are your best friends they will cut the chase and without sugar coating they will say what is right. It is a painful experience and you might not be used to receive such brutal truth but you are happy because the intentions are good.

They Will Never Lie

They might go with Poker face and keep quite but they won’t lie to your face. You expect them to tell you the truth and nothing but the truth. Before someone can think or take this literally (we lie to each others in harmless manner), this only applies in situations when someone’s trust is on the line. If they are in the mood then you can get the whatever version of reality to they are experimenting at that point of time. They will play you like nobody’s business.

They will bring better of you

They will have big plans for the future and they enjoy strategizing about how to accomplish them. One of the great thing they provide in a friendship is a desire to constantly improve themselves and Hope to you and their focus at work is contagious. When they get to know that there is something you want, they'll provide a huge amount of direction and motivation to help you reach your goals.

They Get over Stuff

They would not hold a grudge and would love to end a fight. They will hold grounds on intellectual fights which you might have with them because those can impact both of the life. As per them holding grudge is a waste of energy and clearing things is new cool. Having an argument is quite an impersonal thing to a Rational, so even if he initially blows up, the relationship should soon go back to normal with no hard feelings. (He'll/she’ll still think your logic sucks, though.)

One thing I can say for sure just don’t expect forgiveness if you seriously harm or betray your best friend. If he/she is sure that you are not worthy they will end the friendship.

He/She is your 2 AM Buddy

You need a shoulder to cry on, you need someone to talk about your ex. You need to do brainstorm they will be there for you. I have 3 guys, 1 brother and 1 Girl on my speed dial for such crises. They might not enjoy small talks and I have never talk to them formally if my memory serves me correctly but when you have deep discussion about politics, corona or why earth is round then they are the best in business. I use them as Devil’s advocate to challenge my ideas. They are just awesome and you can be you without being judged.

They are your bank locker

If you do not want to discuss your personal life, they are perfectly fine with that arrangements and if you want to discuss issues then you can be vulnerable they will hear you out and suggest one idea or two. They are not interested in exposing your secret. They keep their softer side closely guarded and expect others to do the same.

Over share and you won't regret it, though. Your true friend will understand how hard it is to open up and make yourself vulnerable to someone – they would never abuse that trust.

They set you Free and rescue you in crises

If you choose to be off the radar for few months or ignoring every social engagement then you best friend will accept that with open heart. (I do most of the time, I think Time is precious and I am giving that to someone I care so it’s worth it). They’d prefer it if you both gave each other the freedom to come and go as you please. A good friend will check in with you if it's been too long, but they'll never put demands on you or insist that you hang out or put a condition which you need to follow. There's no codependence in this relationship!

No matter what you're struggling with, they'll encourage you to see all sides of the situation and recognize that there's always a way out. It's all about perspective.

They are Crazy and exact opposite of normal people

They won’t make friends because they are supposed to but they make friends because they choose to. If you are friends with this type which means you are interesting and you are valued. You are a trusted member of a pretty exclusive club. It takes a lot for them to invest in a friendship, and a lot more to scare them away once they've made that investment. They'll take you as you are with all your trait and craziness, and they won't get embarrassed if you're operating outside of social norms

I have very few friends and people whom I can trust and can take bullet for them. For me being in my elite group means a lot to me. It’s a promise that I will be there with you to the bitter end and we can laugh post the dust of uncertainty gets settled. Always remember if someone tries to hurt you trust me I know where to bury dead bodies too (Just Kidding). Thank you for being there with me.

A Letter to Maa - Love of Life

Everyone has his favorite superhero or idol, when I was younger, I was infatuated with Super Commando Dhruv (comic Hero). I wished I could be as cool as him in toughest situation and without superpowers I can solve many problems.

Its taken me 18 years to realize that Dhruv is still the coolest superhero but I had a more important superhero in front of my throughout my life: My Mother.

It’s an amazing and humbling feeling when you are able to take a step back and just examine your life in its entirely. You realize how hardships, the high and lows, happiness and sorrow and everyone around you has made you the person you are today.

As I always say people come in your life with stronger motives and plans to teach you and made you a better person. Some will taught you how to become a stronger person or someone might thought you the traits which you must avoid in a person. Everyone in your life is there for a reason which will unfold the mystery of life.

I feel that the people even at my age (I am not very Old) are afraid to show their true emotions and thoughts to anyone cause they are afraid of being mocked and they think they might be considered as weak by their friends and peers.

I think if someone truly means something to you then you should tell her or him as often as you can. The intent of this letter is to let you, MOM, know how much you mean to me and to also hopefully inspire other sons and daughters to take a second and hold those moments and emotions.

Trust me being the most practical sons of yours, I wish I could keep you with me forever even if I know that’s impossible, until then I will make sure you understand how fortunate I am to have you as my Mom. I wish I could share even a small percentage of the unconditional love you have given to me with those people who grew up without that love cause I believe everyone deserves a mother’s love.

You are my number one Fan. Having you day in day out to support you and listen to you is one of life’s most powerful gifts. I do not know which superpower gives you the visibility to find the something which is being misplaced by me and you somehow know the exact location of it in the house.

There have been times when I questioned your actions, but only now do I understand that everything you did to me and for me was out of love. You said yes as often as possible, but weren't afraid to tell me no. You let me be expressive and creative without questioning it.

You showed me how to treat others with kindness, compassion and love. It's you who I believe has made me into a man, capable of expressing myself and my emotions, unafraid of being vulnerable, comfortable in my own skin and able to fully love and respect women.

The best thing about having you as my mom is that I'm still learning from you every single day. I know I haven't been the best son in the world. I've upset you; I've given you headaches. It's unfortunately part of the many phases every son and daughter growing into an adult has.

You have always been there in my achievements and accepting my failures. You never let me give up my dreams, no matter what obstacles were in my way of life. You have firm faith on me even when there were times, I didn’t believe in myself.

Don't ever doubt that you didn't do enough for me or have a single ounce of regret. You are more than I could have asked for in a mother. You are (and always will be) the caped caregiver and superhero of my life.

Love you Ma!

My Dad is My Super Hero!

No Matter how hard Life would be or what challenges it throws at you, In Any of the cases you have to look back and you will find your father there for you. Even if he comes home late from work and will not be able to give more time to you but he cares and want only the best for you. I remember my childhood days when I used to think he is the guy who can do anything in this world and I am totally in control and safe when she is around. He is my superhero till date.

I thought to make this day special for him, I thought about gifts, party and plans but finally I thought of writing this note. Without him I won’t be a human being which I have imagined throughout my life. Below are the reasons why he is supercool Dad for me (Listed only 10). .

·         Dad has always tried his level best to make me a good human being.

·         I always enjoy spending time with him and learn new things with him.

·         He wants me to become a good human being like him. That is why he always teaches me to differentiate between wrong & right.

·         Every day he used to take out little time for me in the night to acknowledge my day to day activities and problems if any.

·         He is my best friend. I can discuss everything with him without any hesitation. Things that I fail to reveal out to my close friends, I can easily discuss them with my Dad.

·         He is like a hero to me. He is a funny, cool, adventurous and smart human being

·         He has showed me the opportunities that exist in front of me. But at the same time he has left the decision up to me in terms of which path to choose.

·         He is very confident that his efforts to make me a good human being will never go in vein. Seeing his confidence in me some day I want to make him proud.

·         Whenever I feel low he is just a call away and his voice on phone saying “What Happened, Batayega Nahi” just makes me comfortable and gives me courage to fight the world.

·         He taught me that people are not wrong or right circumstances make them to behave like one. He is the guy who brings positivity out of any situation and consoles me in the bad phase of my life.

In short he is the reason I feel relaxed and full of energy in my life. His confidence in me gives me power to take the world down if require. One of his favourite quotes defines life for me “If you cannot do anything for a person, give him hope to fight the circumstances in that way you will win that person for LIFE”.

Love you Dad! 

14 Reasons Why I Love You?

To be in love is May be one of the most magical feelings in the world. Love is capable of filling your life with such colours that were previously thought to be unimaginable.


I often wonder why I love you. Is it your presence, your smile, your eyes, or just the feeling of togetherness we share whenever we meet or talk. I wonder why I always seem to forget the things I want to tell you when we talk and keep getting lost in you.

1. I love that you are my best friend in the whole world and always will be.
2. I love that since the day you came into my life, everything's been perfect
3. I love how every time I look at you or talk to you, you take my breath away
4. I love the way you inspire me to be more than I am
5. I love the way you take the time to thank me for doing everyday things.
6. I love your ability to make me feel better when times are tough.
7. I love the way you won't let me compromise myself.
8. I love the way your voice sounds over the phone.
9. I love watching stupid serials because you love watching them.
10. I love when you seek explanations from me.
11. I Love the support you offer for my hopes and dreams.
12. I love that you listen to what I say
13. I am continually amazed by the depths of your kindness and your willingness to care for others, not just me.
14. I love that even though you know everything about me you still look at me the way you do

I am a guy who believes in Living the Moments as and when they come but when I think about you I feel stability. I promise that you are the ONE and you will be the LAST.

A Letter to God...!!

Dear God,

I am writing this letter to you with all due respect. I feel lost whenever I think about you or even talk about you. At times I get so much frustrated because I cannot accept certain facts in my life coz of some logical reasons behind it. But then I realized that if I believed in you then I should easily accept  whatever is happening as a part of your wish. But I am not like those people who can believe just like that. However I have a lot of respect for those who have immense trust in you and think that without your existence no one can breathe. Once my Mother told me that God has great plans for me and after sometime I found myself lost and suddenly all his plans became bad. I am not claiming that you are solely responsible for all the bad deeds or you don’t do good things but it surprises me when you can do things then why didn’t you control the outcomes of my bad planning.

Some of my friends told me that you do speak to us may be in a different way but we do not listen to you. It is not because we are bad but because we are human and we always tend to look at things from our perspective and not from your perspective. My friends say that when we do something it differs from the planned outcome then that means God has changed plans for us. So please tell me how many times you change your planes coz it happens to some of people now and then. In such cases I can come up with a different logic: that you didn’t think about anyone else interfering in your planning. As my friend claims that you can control each and everything, then why don’t you control the consequences before things gets worse?

If you have made us to do or act the way you want us to then we are nothing but your puppets. This makes me think that you are a Dictator who just needs slaves to follow the rules and praise you for their deeds.

I think God will Be like This...!!

My last but not the least point: as you said, you don’t force anyone to follow you but then have you ever thought or observed the list of your followers? Most of them are suffering from fear. Fear of doing something different in life because you might punish them if those so called consequences don’t support them. The biggest fear is you. They cannot decide what is right or wrong for them because they are so dependent on you that you will handle everything for them. Some of them have blind faith on you that you will never let any bad thing happen to them however these are the people who end up crying on the spilled milk. I can understand your condition that you possibly cannot handle 6 billion people at a time and you may not be having good staff to manage such a huge database. But that cannot be an excuse coz at the end of the day you are a GOD!!!

Lord I request you that you will guide all those people who live in an imaginary world and wait for you to do miracles in their life. Bless them Lord and grant them peace of mind and safety. If you are there and understand the depth of this letter, I am not a person who is challenging your intentions but I am just pointing out some of the rules which people follow blind folded. Hope everything is going well at your place and all applications on the DBMS is running perfectly. God don’t take my letter in wrong way and please don’t surprise me by more worst shocking experiences. It’s not that I believe in you and I am scared of you but that tricks of scaring me by bad omen won’t work on me.

Amen!

Yours Faithfully,

ME