International Women's Day - Late Post

In this progressive society and an era of social media it amplifies messages and allow them to reach the places where generally we might not able to. In recent times, we tend to celebrate all the days which are dedicated to some instances or people but I believe most of the time it was a forced gesture. One of the example I can take and some of us might feel offended too. International Women’s Day is on 8th March and I am sure your Insta and FB feeds would be filled with photos and quotes which will talk about Women empowerment and freedom. It might be my own feeling but we tend to forget the same in real life where you should appreciate women in your life as and when you get a chance. Sometimes you might not get the chance before its too late.

Think about your life and women you know. Think about the mother’s, the wives, the daughters, the sisters and your female friends, think about how they show up always when you are in need irrespective of their own stress and problems. Even if they are exhausted but they will still find space to carry the burden of others. I asked sometimes, is it required? Why cant this person says why I am the one who always have to understand? The answers which I found (not all) is that’s how they are programmed to be. People who know me, they can vouch that I keep on saying that I always need a Women support to function in my life and when it is not there I go on destruction mode. It applies to my personal and professional front too. I was contemplating a lot before writing this post because of following issues:

1. Some names I can not write here as they have their own struggle in life to deal with

2. Some names might not know that they got a Fan

3. Why would I share my secret list of Super Women who helped me throughout success (some of my Friends would take some name here who caused lot of dent) and failures 

We keep saying women’s are strong and they have power to change the world and we have never thought that these thoughts/statements put unnecessary pressure on them. Sometimes I believe they take decision basis influence from the surrounding and to please people just to prove a point that whatever they are saying I am validating that or not. In my opinion, validation is not at all required as my Boss’s Whats app status say “True thinking is free from fear”.

I have been told my posts are very long to read so I am just coming back to the point which I was trying to make. Listing down 6 Women in my Life because of whom I am what I am currently in a positive manner.

My Mother: I wanted to take a moment to express my heartfelt gratitude for all that she has done for me throughout my life. She has been my constant source of love, support, and inspiration, and I am so grateful for everything she has done to help me become the person I am today.

From my earliest childhood memories, She has been there for me, guiding me through life's ups and downs with unwavering patience and kindness. She has always (almost excluding some beatings) believed in me, even when I doubted myself, and her encouragement and support have given me the confidence to pursue my dreams and to become the person I am today.

Her unconditional (sometimes its too much responsibility for me to handle) love and selflessness have been an inspiration to me, and I am truly blessed to have her as my mom. Her unwavering dedication to our family and her tireless efforts to make our lives better has not gone unnoticed, and I want her to know how much I appreciate everything she has done for us. As they say the only Women who can change a Man with force is his Mom and no one else.

Thank you, Mom, for everything you have done for me. I love you more than words could ever express.

Co-Founder of a Start-up: On this Women's Day, I wanted to take a moment to express my gratitude and appreciation for all that she has done for me as an individual and as a working professional. She is the reason for my understanding in payments and its impact in the business. She will remain one of the best people I have worked with apart from being my Mentor in my early days. As she speak out for the things she believes in, she is doing so with passion, empathy and authentic collaboration that embraces all voices and all people from all walks of life. 

A Lawyer: She has come in the life at a very inappropriate time when I was very busy in finding my professional way in life. She has helped me in getting the prospective where I learned that the decisions and judgements are passed basis perception. None can change the reality and you must always fight for the things which makes you happy. Society is just group of people who can not decide how you want to lead your life. The stint was very short and she was magical in all the aspect and I must say from Chaiwala to Tapriwala till date would recognize her voice. Recently I met her and now she is one of those people who are trying to make a world a better place.

A Drama Queen:  I always think that why people meet me in a very difficult or at a time whenever I am not in my best state. In other hand, may be my vulnerability make them enter in my life to support and pull me up so I can put the fight again. I was drowning in my own overthinking and diving to the lowest of my life personally then I met her and she was the one who makes me believe that if something is suffocating you then you have to pull the plug else suffering would never stop. We worked in many projects and I have been told that we were the best team, needless to say we proved that too. She is the one from whom I have learnt that if I want to order a Coffee in five star restaurant then I have to say “Hot Coffee” else they will bring room temperature coffee. 

My Official Boss: As a female leader in my current org, She has inspired me and many others in my team with her dedication, expertise, and guidance. Her leadership style is admirable, and her commitment to excellence is contagious. She has shown us that with hard work, determination, and perseverance, anything is possible. Her passion for work and for supporting our team has made a significant impact on our success. I would like to thank her for setting such high standard for me to aspire to. Her Leadership and mentorship have been invaluable to me and I am grateful for the opportunity to learn from her. You are not as burdened by the limitations and biases that held back innovative women of the last century. And you are strong, opinionated, important, and relevant! I was able to write all these because I know for a fact she wont get to read this. 

A Girl in Saree: Personally, I don’t like knowing people because its too much responsibility to handle and that is the reason I don’t have much friends but when I get to know people I cant stop myself to knowing them well. As I have written about this person in various post, she seems a breeze and a storm at the same time which need not to be controlled. A Girl with strong opinion on things and always wanted to do the right thing (according to society and her judgment) for which she can go to any extent. I have learnt from her that be open and receptive towards the change and you have to go out else people wont come to you. The funny part is she believes in destiny too (Difficult for her to understand this joke). Her courageous perseverance is critical at a pivotal time, and she would realize one day the true potential. I hope I would be there to witness that because even sky cant contain that kind of energy.

I have been privileged enough to work and be with my friends and colleagues along with my relatives. Some way or the other I have always learnt something from someone and for which I am very thankful. Sometimes these people irritates me too but if you want to learn from the best then you have to leave the rest. There are some special people who are incredibly kind and thoughtful and just by being there they just brighten my day.

As we celebrate Women's Day, I want to honor you and all the other amazing women who have made a difference in our lives. You have been a guiding light for me, and I am so grateful for your love and support. You got a FAN in me who is rooting for you One... Two... Three... Maybe so many of us fail to recognize or appreciate the power and energy you bring it because by the time we get to ten, we are already on to the next Big thing. Or exhausted. But we will reach there for sure!

Crush Alert - An Open Letter to My Crush

I believe most of the time too many thoughts go unsaid because either situations are not positive, or you are tied up with some imaginary bonds. However, as they say you can create/see beauty in everything, if you stop feeling hurt and believe in the Magic. I always say, “do the favour to the universe and don’t hide your magic”. I come from old school where Love at first sight was a thing, and this right swipe technology can not beat that. Sometimes Love can be most unexpected thing in life which can destroy all your plans and you cannot understand the maths (When you involve maths then it becomes more critical hence the reference) behind it. I wrote about what we see in a girl to get attracted however this can’t be true all the time and sometimes you get attracted to the vibe (Magic) when you were least expecting it. It’s a contagious and you won’t get over it.

Personally, I always get attracted to broken souls, pain behind those smiles, Big eyes and hidden darkness which is expecting a light of hope. Somehow, I start feeling responsible to fix and understand those feelings (People say I don’t understand feelings and I don’t care about them) so I can absorb and understand other people prospective. When you start understanding the person by seeing the soul then there is no going back at least for me. It’s a trap for me and I always remain there in Love. Sometimes you cannot explain, what you see in a person. It is just the way they take you to the places where no one else can. It’s hard to get rid of the demons inside you because they were holding you once no one was there but it doesn’t mean you have to be there even if you get a chance to embrace light. Sometimes I am in love with the impossibility of us because being in Love is beautiful. That’s the reason I am too old for Internet Love and I believe in falling in Love.

I am sure by now you would have started to think what I am trying to say. I am having a mental block for almost 4 years as I failed to read a person with whom I had spend 7 years (3 years knowing I judged her well and 4 years thinking what to do and how to get out of it). In this journey for 4 years I have met few people who have helped me in coping up the situation apart from Family and brother from other mothers. Those people have worked magic in my life, and I fell for them unknowingly but never expressed because I always was either in wrong story or at wrong time.

Love. It truly is a magical feeling when it’s shared. Slow down. It takes time and, yes, it usually begins with a crush. That can be frightening because no one likes to feel rejected, and crushes can work both ways. I am sharing this letter so they can know how I feel about them and there would be many more people who would share my thoughts too (whoever have seen the magic). Just because people don’t vocalize things, they love about you or the qualities they admire, doesn’t mean you aren’t admired for all that you are. The second reason is to free myself by being vulnerable and I believe this is the best way. One of the most beautiful things in a person is emotional vulnerability, so why would I not use that to my advantage? Be the energy you wish to attract and live more in the uncomfortable. I hope one day I could say "Will you be my Valentine forever?".

Dear You,

I love your energy and vibe and I believe you already know that though. You know the last time I was easily able to see this when I was in 5^th Grade, and I admitted that I liked a girl. I have a crush on you or may be more than that because thinking about you makes me dizzy and all I get excited when I see you virtually or in person. I have been feeling this way for some time and I really don’t know how to say it and if I should say it because things are much better this way where I don’t have fear to loose you and I don’t want to find out if this revelation of feeling will change it. I have never told you these feelings because I don’t want to make things awkward. I am being the greatest overthinker alive and I know that you are too sweet to lose over something silly like the romantic feelings of me for you which are not mutual (I don’t know). I have always thanked my crushes for touching my life in such a beautiful way which made me a better person.

We were connected for the longer time and but not have known each other for the longest time but I know this for sure that I have feelings for you. Whether they may be of infatuation or actual love, I don’t know yet. The only thing I know that you are kind hearted, amazing, soulful and one of the most fantastic people I have ever known. I couldn’t bear to see you hurt. I would lose my mind.

Let me explain myself, my Cancerian friend says I always keep things with me and don’t express in person which is not correct. As per him you deserve to know (he doesn’t know you yet) and hear how truly amazing you are and it’s unfortunate that in this internet and app generation that letters like these are not written more often. First, you are hilarious, and I love that we can build off each other’s humour. It’s not your wit or intellectual humour because you are yet to reach there as training is in process but you are silly at the same time. When I started interacting with you, I couldn’t believe that how effortlessly you can be weird, quirky, goofy and childish at the same time. You seem like pure light which just reached the darkest places of my heart which was closed for more than years.  

I also love and appreciate that you are sensitive, thoughtful, and deep. My Mom is one of the strongest pillars in my life and she has taught me that strength is not how little you can allow yourself to feel and care about everything and be loving even you can be hurt. I love that you are strong like that too. I love that you get emotional and are not ashamed by that as you believe that crying is good for beauty. It is beautiful and inspiring and makes me feel comfortable letting my guards down. Around you, I feel safe and protected. I don’t know if I can say I have ever felt that way around anyone before. I love that you see and like me for who I am and what I love.

I really do think you are incredibly cute and trust me that is not why I like you the way I do. I like you for so many more important reasons than the way you look. I love the way you are and the way you make me feel basis your stupid ideas to spend my weekends (on B and A). You are kind, affectionate, silly and loving and most inspiring thing is that you are hardworking, have dreams, you are interesting and you are willing to fight for your dreams. I always have this fear if people going to like me for me, who I am, for my heart, with my broken soul and my darkness which kept me captive for the longest time. For someone to love me like that I can wait a long time, because I don’t believe there is anything more magical than true love.

I love you so much, and it’s not just a made-up thing. When I’m with you, I feel like everything is possible and that life is perfect. It’s as if God created you to make my world the best place for me to live. You know, I can’t describe the kind of happiness that I feel every time my cell phone beeps and received your message. You deeply warm my heart and soul with those messages that you send to me. Those messages inspire me in life.

I know you and I believe I don’t have much time and current circumstances and timings are not favorable for us. I don’t want to make things more complicated for us than they already are. Regardless of your feelings and even if this doesn’t work, I will always cherish this connection forever and keep these feelings valuable and private. The thought of you reading this letter and able to understand that you are the one I am talking about and feeling so loved, appreciated, and valued brings me nothing but happiness. You mean everything to me. I love you for who you are, and I would never change that. Your smile, your eyes, your voice. I love it all. When you laugh, I laugh, when you smile, you make me weak in the knees every beat of my heart is for you… Thinking of you brings a smile to my face, and your face brings sunshine into mine.

I have made myself understood that we might be those twin flames who make us better persons who can handle anything in life. That could be the reason God has put us on those paths and somehow, I got connected to your unperfect way of handling things perfectly. I will accept it someday. So just spending time with you is something I look forward to. Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure. I was so happy and inspired to see you always and almost every day is my happiness. Even though I know I am the only one feels that way. But it’s okay as I am not wishing that you do admire and care for me too. To see you is enough it brought smile to my heart. But unexpectedly I feel that there is hope between us.

Here is my favorite pickup line which I have used with 100% results might work on you “Hathi Naali me Bah nahi sakta, Main tumhare bina rah nahi sakta.”

Sincerely,

Me

Love is not Enough ?

 "The fact is, love is not enough. All those fairytales, all those stories and movies you've heard and watched growing up, lied to you. Love is never enough because love is irrational." ~Unknown

Afraid to Fall in Love Again - Curious Case

It's not that I don't believe in love... I am very strong believer in it actually... I am just deathly terrified that it doesn't believe in me...!! 

Why do we always desire or have feelings for one when you can be completely indifferent to another person? Why do we fall in love in most uncomfortable scenarios? Why it is difficult to find out the reason for falling in love? Why can we not stop that feeling just by putting some logical reasoning or counter arguments? Why we keep on falling for the same person against every odds? All these questions are remained unanswered for me and I feel scared to fall in Love because it gives you the responsibility of the other person without letting that person know. For me love is responsibility to be happy together and it’s a raw form of the highest emotion which you can not control. Secondly once you are in love there is no Control + Z button to undo it. Lets try to explore the reasons why we are afraid to fall in Love via this post.

Most of the people including me fall in love with someone who unconsciously reminds us that we are home and safe. The same feeling which you have experienced in childhood which is already placed in your subconscious memory. The said resemblance, which can be difficult to see consciously, can be gestural, in relation to opinions or even habits. The resemblance, therefore, plays an undeniable role in the attraction because it awakens a deep and powerful feelings inside you.

In the mind from childhood we see all aspect of the life and find some misplaced parts of the puzzle which we call life and we start searching for those missed parts all the time. For example, if, when you were a child, your parents were keeping you in check and allow you to take decision basis your experience and learning, you will have to unconsciously seek a partner who will fill this gap. So in this case, a person who will not be afraid of putting her opinion forward and express their feelings.

Thus, we unconsciously seek in our partner, to remedy a psychological need, a wound to be healed, a lack to be filled, which according to us, we missed during our life until now. As they say we wander our life looking for our twin who completes us and which on certain points is also different from us. For example, if you are a spontaneous person, you may be looking for a thoughtful and composed partner because you do not have this quality.

I always said and keep on saying, women are mature than man any given point of time if they take a call basis their heart and mind. Men are usually thrilled about falling in love but none of them will admit it. They all, deep inside, crave love and affection like everyone do. But they will not talk about it in open and keep on thinking on imaginary scenarios because rejection rate is very high and everyone is afraid of rejections.

Sometimes, his fear of commitment or his current situation can lead you on a wrong path. You may just give up on him because you think he is not that into you. He is not showing emotions, he is probably even very nervous around you. Trust me it does not mean he does not have feelings for you or he is not into you. It can be the complete opposite. He does have the hots but he is scared to fall in love.

Here is how you’ll definitely know he is just chickening out and needs a little push because he likes you but is afraid to admit it.

#His Mixed Signals (All sort of)

You might go crazy trying to decode his message. This happens when he himself does not know how to act around you that’s why he is acting so weird. One moment he is very much interested in you and the next he is nowhere to be found. He is confused with his stand and is very afraid to act on it. He likes you for some reason but something might be stopping him to act on it. You need to find out that reason.

There could be a chances that he had a broken heart or any unlucky relationship before and he is afraid to repeat that story so he is acting that way where he might be seeking your clarity.

#He is slow

He wants to take things slow and practically keep it light. Well, this means he likes you but (and there is always a but) he is probably not ready to be with you for real. He definitely has some unresolved issues that life has thrown at him and he needs to deal with them. He knows there is no going back from there. What would happen if he gets rejected and that thought would drive him crazy. Since he is still overwhelmed with everything new going on in his life, you, he needs a bit of time to process things and get rid of his fear.

Don’t assume right away that he doesn’t like you if he keeps you at arm’s length and most of the time he does not know what to talk. Leave him alone and go on living your life. If he realizes with time that he has loved you all this time, great, if not, you’ll get by fine without him.

#He is always there

Even if you both are not together, he will always be there for you whenever you need a helping hand. He can be a person to whom you can bring any stuff and he will come along with you as a friend or as a partner in crime. If you are in trouble, he will be there to get you out of it.

Real friends do that but men who secretly love you do that too. He’ll stick around when there is no one else left. That’s how you’ll know he likes you but is scared to fall for you.

#He is a Google Reminder

He will care for all small stuff and remember all important things for you. Even small stuff which no one else will give a damn. When you are sick, he will follow up with you and this shows that he is interested in you, as these small details that no one notices is what separates him from the others.

He is into whatever you are into for sure. Men have this urge to impress women they like even if they are not aware of it. He will listen attentively and probably say that he shares most of your interests even if he doesn’t and in longer run he will learn it for you.

#Gets Jealous all the time

He will never show you exactly what he is jealous about and trust me he will never tell you or talk about it but you will see from the way he behaves. You will notice he will change the subjects or cut your call by telling there is another call if you’re talking about your guy friends, or he’ll get nervous and he won’t be able to control his feelings or reactions.

This is kind of cute and by now you would have known this guy if he is harmless of not. Jealousy can be a bitch and its hard to get rid of it but as a indication you can get that he is afraid of losing you and he likes you but doesn’t know how to deal with it. Most of the time when the guy would know that you are into your other friend then the arm length distance tend to increase.

#Overprotective

When a man in love, Logic disappears. He will do somethings in life which are not really logical for example calling you multiple times to check if you reach home and check on you unless he gets a revert. Sometimes these things get you irritated but you can not change this habit in him.

He will behave the way his heart tells him and not his mind. All rationality will be gone. If he thinks that talking to you is hampering you or he is disturbing you, he might stop talking to you. Trust me a man in love only sees you and fears you might get hurt and wants to be there to protect you.

#Follow you religiously

He will use you as a black board and dump all the information to you and all the incidents which took in the day. He always keep an eye on you, Let’s say you are at the same party and every time you look at him, he is looking right back at you.

Even though a lot of other people are around him and he is actively participating in conversations, he will subconsciously look for you and acknowledge your presence. 

So there is nothing called perfect communication and a Man in love definitely does not have when they are faced with the woman of their dreams. They will do their best to hide their feeling early on and if someone is saying that he is honest upfront on everything he would be lying or he would not talk about the topics where he has to lie.

Taking the representation from all those man I wanted to say that: we hide our feelings because we do not want to get ahead of ourselves and we will want to know if our feelings are reciprocated before we open up.

We might be mysterious and weird but we are definitely not fake…!!

Happy Birthday from Unbeatendesire!

 Dear Birthday Girl,

Cheer up. Take courage. “The truth is that getting older is nothing to be feared. Its make you unique in its own ways”. As the years go by, you gain a perspective not found in younger years. Mysteries of why things happened years ago start to clear up. You can see how the pieces of life fit together. Using thoughtful retrospection, the older you become, the more life makes sense.

You are indeed a great personality - the way you talk, the way you smile, your obsession for success, love for your family. Your passion for your future, your philosophical thoughts, clarity about your life, the purity in your heart, control over your emotions, your friendly nature, your efforts to make me laugh when I feel alone, when I feel so low. The way you turn every intense situation into something positive and sometimes light. Being yourself, being so selfless, adventurous, caring, affectionate and Crazy. 

We have not known each other for a long time, about a year and a half at most. But I do know this; I have feelings for you. What I do know for certain is that you are kind, beautiful and one of the most fantastic people I have ever known. You are precious to me and I couldn't bear to see you hurt. I would just about lose my mind. I am the kind of person who would like to hide behind blogs and open letters, when it comes to talking about my feelings, I'm not the best at it. I just don't enjoy addressing matters of the heart.

Let's be honest... we're practically polar opposites. However, we have enough similarities to get along, I think. Here are a few reasons why I like the hell out of you and why you should be super excited about your birthday (Yes, I'm writing a list of the reasons. I warned you):

• You're really good at what you do and you're so passionate about it. Who wouldn't admire that? A damned hater, that's who! 
• You are so supportive of me. The other day I was feeling really down, and I shared with you what I was going through. You listened and offered words of encouragement in a way that showed you really do care. You'd never just give me the whole "Stop complaining because many people would love to be in your shoes" response that so many people give; that response has inspired me to NOT open up about my feelings when I'm going through hard times. But you don't do that to me. You're just there for me. It means a lot. Yeah.
• I love talking to you on the phone. I like getting excited when I realize I've got a text from you. You are may one of the favorite notification on Whatsapp.
• My life is pretty weird and unpredictable. Sometimes because of my career and my personal issues. With you, it is like everything is normal and so peaceful and I have never felt the same way for years.
• I think you deserve the world, yet somehow I don’t think you always see that. But I want you to know, I often find my own self wondering what I did to deserve you.
• You taught me what a connection really is and I got crazy when you told that You come in to people’s lives with a purpose and you change them. You make every single person around you better, without even realizing it.
• You’re the person that someone can only live without, if they’ve never lived with them before. You light up every room, and lift up every single person around you. People need you.
• You get to know them down to their very core, even when they’re hard to get to know. You go to war for the people that you love, and do it without even thinking. Love isn’t an option for you. It’s just who you are and it makes you the most beautiful soul I have ever known. Because your love isn’t fearful, or weak. It’s the most powerful force that I have ever felt—indestructible and unconditional.
• If for any reason, we ever fight about something, and I mean really fight about something, I will always want to fix it. I hope you stay around for a long time, because I want you in my life forever. You have made my life so much better since you entered it and the memories that we have made together are one in a million. With that being said, I hope you know how much I appreciate you, how much I appreciate everything that you do for me. And I hope that you know I would do anything for you, without even hesitating because you're my best friend.

I could have written a lot of things as you know but I am not going to make this post boring for you so sub listing few points for which you should be happy as its you 18th Birthday with 12 year’s experience: 

1. You have the ability to create a smile and trust me that you have a beautiful smile that erases all the worries away.
2. Your happiness is contagious and you have the perfect timing in entering a person’s life.
3. You are candid in the most positive way.
4. You can stay for as long as you’re needed and A simple “Hi” from you is something worth hearing.
5. You know how to tease and not make a person angry. I can vouch for that.
6. You make a heart beat fast… and faster and your stare is worth a smile.
7. Your genuinely say “sorry” and I don’t know how you do it.
8. Your heart is as big as your soul and you give good advice even if the situation doesn’t coincide with your life.
9. You have principles and you follow them.
10. You love your God (YOUR) more than anybody.
11. You pick your closest friends and don’t forget them.
12. When the temperature rises, you choose to go to sleep and put your phone on “Airplane Mode” and I hate it.
13. You don’t make someone feel bad.
14. You avoid wars just as you always find peace.
15. You trust that your thoughts are true.
16. You are not afraid to question things.
17. You’re brave because you want to.
18. You love conversations and people might not know but you are easy to talk to.
19. Your silence is magical and it put me revisit all the conversation where I could be wrong.
20. Your soul is beautiful in every single way.
21. You stand by what you believe in life and for that you follow and break rules at the same time.
22. You don’t really assume that the society’s standards are all true.
23. You love yourself and trust me you would never walk alone because you are loved by people.
24. You don’t fake your emotions and you try to explain your self but don’t expect to be understood.
25. You know how to keep secrets and Friendship with you is an exciting adventure and you can walk a mile on someone’s shoes.
26. You are not afraid to make a mistake and your opinions always matter.
27. You won’t be forgotten easily and you don’t compete in attention – you don’t need to.
28. You are not someone to be liked; you are someone to be loved.
29. Your genuineness will stay forever.
30. You are special, and you may not know it.

Thank you for sticking by me, getting to know my life, showing me the most sincere support and unconditional care. I couldn't thank you enough for the countless amount of times that you have stuck by me when I needed you. I have no idea what I'd do without you sometimes... or all of the time. And I am so happy that I don't ever have to find out.

Even I am not happy with wrinkles and thinning hair when we grow more older as every year is a single step reaching to that destination. But I love getting older. It is a sweet time in life. Embrace it. Go ahead. I dare you. Fall in love with getting older.

Happy Birthday…! Don’t count your wrinkles count your blessings!

Yours!

Ji chang Wook

If Mature You was to counsel Youthful You...! - A Letter

There is so much going on news channels and social media platform regarding the disheartening incident related to Sushant Singh Raajput. Suddenly everyone got concerned about the depression or loneliness of not only their friends and family but people around them as well. I have seen multiple posts which got surfaced on social media which talks about people to reach out to them to talk and stay in touch. Trust me I loved the gesture and intent of all those people. I am no expert and when it comes to comforting people, I might be below passing marks but when it come to lift up their strength especially mental; I am good. In my personal opinion our deepest fear is not our weakness but our strength which is beyond measure and we do not know yet, our capabilities to change the world. Due to this confusion and lack of facts, we come to a point where quitting seems easy and fighting seems too much. Trust me when I say this, it is a matter of few minutes when your grief, expectations and positivity is being clouded and you take a decision which cannot be justified in any means. As they say, “Death is the permanent solution of the temporary problems.”

Each one of us, at some point, go through that phase of life where life seems more complicated than you thought to be. You decide to fight and suddenly in your battle you feel like a lone warrior against invisible enemies which you cannot fight. I would like to write a open letter to younger me who was ready to take the life with a storm and have so many hopes and expectations in life and with people. This is my friendly advice to my younger self and I wish if I was there as a friend at that point of time.

Dear You,

First of all, you would be happy enough to know that I am there in future, irrespective of our ordeals in past we have made it through and from my perspective by flying colors. You should also know I loved you because the energy, passion and thinking ability you have is what made me stronger. You should hang in there and listen to people who say “at the end everything will make sense”, trust me it does and it could not be a better future for us especially if you analyze your current situation. This means you have handled yourself well.

I know it has been tough for you and you have started struggling with life. I might not able to fully understand your current situation as you would moved out from it well to keep me alive and energetic but I know that you have gone through situations no one should ever go through. You have dealt with issues a lot of people will never understand. You have emotional scars that might never go. You live in a world where sometimes you feel alone, forgotten and unimportant. You have spent more nights than you can count: crying, striving, being hurt to the extent of almost dying for the life you always wanted. You have always fathom when there is no lack of efforts from your end; then why these hardships??.

I know you are feeling like the million pound world is on your shoulder and you don’t know if you can hold it all. You don’t know if you are going to break or when you are going to break.

I know you feel like you can't do anything right. And at this point, you don't see how it will get better. You don't know if you can make it through another day like this. I know that no one knows how you are feeling because you are good at hiding things from people and sometimes you don’t even know yourself. You don't understand how or why you feel the way you do. But you also don't know how to feel anything else.

So I'm not going to tell you how you feel, or what will make it better, or to just keep your head up because none of that really matters. Instead, I am going to tell you how I feel now when I look back and remember about all these instances which make me feel low and put me down where I can’t even breathe.

I feel like you are a bright light in my life. Even though right now you may be in the darkest place that you could ever imagine, you need to know that you are the light at the end of the tunnel for me (I am standing outside of the tunnel with a trophy which will say “Yes! We did it again!). Right now you can count on your brother, he is matured than both of us till now and you should speak to him daily and share your stupid jokes and your day dreams and talk about the interviews where you got rejected today. He would not judge you, he still does not. He and I are your biggest supporter and your experience in life is something I can hold onto during my toughest days and your current suffering made me stronger.

I feel like you are one of the strongest people that I know and after this phase or many other phases in life people would look upto you because you would be the one who know how to handle pain and survive. The fact that you are feeling all of these things that you cannot define is terrifying, and yet you still manage to get out of bed and face the world each day. You paint a smile on your face. Whenever I recall our experience with the beggar,with my brother and friends;they still don’t believe, it seems impossible to them that we might have done something like that.

I feel like you thought that you and your problems are a burden to other people. You don't walk around complaining or even talking about your pain. Instead, you hold it all in, as not to annoy or worry anyone else. But I need you to know that I am here for a reason and you can find someone with whom you can share your feelings and they would understand it. When I tell you that I am here for anything you need, I'm not just saying that to be nice, I mean it. I know you would find your anchor in your brother soon. I expected one of our friends might bring us out of this mess but as you already know we are unlucky in this area. In future you might get good friends and people who would make you feel privileged.

As a friend I feel like I want to be here for you no matter what. It could be 3 o'clock in the morning and I will pick up my phone or answer my door for you. You can discuss about yourself with me because you would be able to make a better future if you just hang in there and do whatever it takes!

I have seen more world than you so you better listen to me; you have to be strong so you can support many people one day who might suffer the pain same as you are or even worse. So trust me when I say:

I promise you, it's not permanent. The sun rises every day to create something new, something wonderful, and you have to be a part of that. This world wouldn't be the same without you. There is a reason that you are here and there's a plan for you. A plan that you don't know about and I know it would work out well at the end. It is a surprise for you!

This is a big world with so much to see : so many things,inventions, developments, places and people to fall in love with, and you have to experience it all.

There's always going to be that little voice at back of your mind trying to bring you down, but have to learn how to silence it. Just think it through; you might be the best Biryani in the world and there is always going to be someone who does not like “Rice”.

Never let this disease and time define who you are.

And if you ever think you have no reason to be here, think of me. I need you here. I always have, and I always will. The stronger you are :the powerful I’ll be.

I love you more than you will ever know.

Yours,

Future that is totally dependent on you!

PS: Always remember at the end of the day, the only person who controls your happiness is you.

I'm Sorry that I Disappointed You...!

Dear You (DQ),

You are indeed a great personality - the way you talk, the way you smile, your obsession for success, love for your family. Your passion for your future, your thoughts, the purity in your heart, your friendly nature, your efforts to make me laugh when I feel alone, when I feel so low. Being yourself, being so generous, bold, caring, affectionate. You always pushed me towards success and every bit of this attracted me towards you.

I'm Sorry that I Disappointed You

I know I have disappointed you. But believe it or not, it was never my intention to make you feel that way. In the first place, why would I do that? Why would I hurt you? As they say sometimes people get hurt in the process because they care for each other.

I don't want to think highly of myself, but for you to feel that hurt only means that you care. And for me to be bothered this way also shows that I do care for you.

But I just want you to know, whether I do or don't do things that are beyond your expectations, or whether you get hurt or not in the process, I always care for you and it will never change no matter what happen as you say I can foresee anything. I would like to believe that.

Again, it was not my intention to disappoint you. But I know I cannot hide the truth that I was partly (or fully) at fault for making you feel that way. I am not good at doing such things on regular basis.

I have given you the reason to be disappointed about.

Believe it or not, I am sincerely apologetic for making you feel that way. I apologize for giving you reasons to believe that I can be a certain someone. I am deeply sorry for that.

I can't be sorry for the changes that have happened to me. Because if I do, I'll be saying sorry for being me. Whatever changes that have taken place in my life for the past days or months, are now part of who I am right now. And taking away those changes means taking away who I am.

Even though I was the cause of your disappointments, there is little I can do about that. It is your personal feelings that I cannot control. If only I could replace it with something wonderful so you won't feel hurt, I would do that. But having that feeling is part of who you are, and I don't want to change who you are -- good or bad -- because that is how I met and knew you.

We didn't have enough time to know each other better but I would like to believe that I know you. But I don't usually judge people or relationships based on the length of time they've been together. Because if you care and like to be with that someone, you'll make each day memorable. In that short period of time, we had our good days and bad days, and that's how we learn about each other. And I appreciated every second of it.

I feel bad for leaving because I know, knowing you, everything will not go back to the way it was. But I have hoped that things will be the same, somehow. But even though it's like that, the times and memories I had with you, will never change because they are already a part of me and who I am.

One of the things I really admire about you is your conviction and determination to be the best and for being the best. All my life, I have learned how to be satisfied for what I have. But with you, you pushed me to dream big again and to reach for more.

Thank you for being there to listen. I know that I’m a difficult person to understand but you were keen enough to listen and I am admitting that given the circumstances I hope my decision should be right the way I have planned it.

Thank you for being there for me. I will always remember how you were one of those people who encouraged me to do the best I could in everything I do. Trust me knowing you is one of the best feelings in my life and I can not give it away at any cost.

Yours,

A Man who can see the Future